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Quit trying to please everyone. Get this through your head — you are not responsible for other people's happiness. It is exclusively other people's responsibility to please themselves. Be authentic and please yourself, which is perfect for running-off the people who need to go, and bringing-in the people who should be in your life. We sure aren't taught this as children are we? When children are taught to be "good" and keep everyone happy, it teaches them that they have the impossible burden of being responsible for other people's happiness. It teaches them that other people's happiness comes before theirs, and they wrap that concept up in a suffocating package called, "not being selfish." And what do you get for this so-called, "not being selfish"? Acceptance — but sadly, a false acceptance for being someone you are not, which often leads to never learning self-acceptance. I didn't say it, but we have surely all heard it, "to thine own self be true." Get selfish and quit worrying about other people's happiness. You are responsible for your own happiness. Take care of yourself. If you try to make everyone happy, everyone will be happy but you. You will never make people happier than by being a happy person yourself. And it all begins with simple self-acceptance.

"It is not your job to make anyone else happy. You cannot please your parents. You can never please your children! Do what you do, to the best of your ability, with a loving intent, for the good of all involved." — Iyanla Vanzant

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Excerpts

Excerpt Share
Get this through your head — you are not responsible for other people's happiness.
It is exclusively other people's responsibility to please themselves.
Be authentic and please yourself, which is perfect for running-off the people who need to go, and bringing-in the people who should be in your life.
When children are taught to be "good" and keep everyone happy, it teaches them that they have the impossible burden of being responsible for other people's happiness.
If you try to make everyone happy, everyone will be happy but you.
You will never make people happier than by being a happy person yourself.

Comments

Featured

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Robert Seigle - facebook.com
Amen!

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Sara Medina Meeker - facebook.com
Yup; that disease to please will kill you! Live for your purpose and that is where true happiness lies.

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Marilyn Renna - facebook.com
My goal every day is to make others' day better for my having been in it; and I'm happy every day!

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Violet Chauncy - facebook.com
No they still whinge I do this all de time

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Songwriter Chalam - facebook.com
Oh,yeah!

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Kathy Sophia - facebook.com
Elizabeth Hegedus Yep, for sure

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Justin Gifford - facebook.com
True happiness comes from honesty with yourself. The ability to see the destructive cycles inside yourself and say "I don't wanna do that anymore." And with that ability comes an actual love for yourself and a happiness that few have got to in todays world

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Pauline Leroux - facebook.com
Right On Justin totally agree!!!

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Carrie Zucker - facebook.com
It is sad that so many people think this...

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Justin Gifford - facebook.com
No doubt yet showing love to all isn't making ppl happy though. With true love comes truth and in many ways truth will not make ppl happy. Even treating ppl the way you wanna be treated doesn't always make ppl happy either

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Deborah Honeybee - facebook.com
Wisdom!

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Suliemon Mehr - facebook.com
Just worry about yourself in other words

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Tara Trudeau - facebook.com
I learned this the hard way

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Shawna Yost - facebook.com
so true!

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Dahlia Campbell - facebook.com
Wow that's so profound!! Thanks Iyanla

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Sonya Wilborn - facebook.com
Beautifully spoken.

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Deb Ginkens-Pearson - facebook.com
Eloguently spoken

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Jeremy Peirce - facebook.com
Amen

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Juhlie Mae Sinorio - facebook.com
well said...

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Melissa Kelley - facebook.com
The answer lies between here and there....you can't make everyone happy, but to plow on doing what satisfies your whim at the moment with complete disregard to the effect you have on others is shallow and selfish. It makes me happy to make someone else happy. To lend a hand. To change a day for the better. I too once suffocated because I was afraid to displease people who cared little for me as a person. When you love people-the right people who also love you for who you are, it is with love that you strive for their happiness. Not at the expense of your own....and you will find these people will also be there to make you smile also. True friends and loving family will be happy to be there for each other and you find that their happiness is your happiness, because life is about people and not the things you give yourself.

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Bridgette Lambson - facebook.com
Not so if EVERYONE PUT OTHERS FIRST NO ONE WOULD BE IN NEED & WE AS A WHOLE WOULD BE HAPPIER HEALTHIER INDIVIDUALS BOTTOM LINE

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Charmaine Pundit - facebook.com
I wish i knew this before!

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Janice Fields - facebook.com
I cannot fix anybody.

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Gail Myles - facebook.com
Amen. Amen. Amen.

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Lashanda Espinoza - facebook.com
Keep your self Happy

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Pitso David Pekeche - facebook.com
Thanks for that be happy first

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Sheyreen Khaw - facebook.com
Great words... love it...its been long times now..I am as a fool cause to please n make other happy. I always put other in the 1st place... this kind of life are so tired.

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Anil Prasad - facebook.com
We can't control other minds. But we can surely control ours. If we try to find happiness in other's satisfaction. We end up being in utter dissatisfaction.

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Tracy Chieng - facebook.com
Thanks 4 your sharing..it's excellent!

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GloryAnn Hachegmar - facebook.com
Amen!!

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Prithwis Mukhopadhyay - facebook.com
awesome post, thnx a lot. simply brilliant.

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Ceri Evans - facebook.com
i wish i new this a long time ago all iv ever done is make my family partner ad friend happy .x

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Sharon Papadopoulos - facebook.com
So true!

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Steve Ellis - facebook.com
thanks for posting it :)

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Annette Wright - facebook.com
Such a right statement, you cant make things everyone happy so stop alot of stress just do what makes you happy and its healthier on yourself also.

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Right from the Rooms - facebook.com
Love it. :)

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Portia Hyman - facebook.com
I wish I knew this 20 years ago. Life would be so different now.

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Vincenza Spose-Hansen - facebook.com
So damn true!

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Shirley Bryson Weirich - facebook.com
So true.

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Lisa Belfeuil Hunt - facebook.com
Wish I would remember this more often...

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Mary Henninger-White - facebook.com
Yep!

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Gloria Johnson - facebook.com
very true!!!!

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Sue Cooper Mosley - facebook.com
AMEN

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Wilma Lloyd - facebook.com
So true, AMEN.

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Flora Spence - facebook.com
<3

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Marjorie Torres Thomas - facebook.com
Very true

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Smylee Heart - facebook.com
Isn't that the TRUTH !! ...

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Tina Hocking - facebook.com
Leant this the hard way

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Cristina Callangan - facebook.com
i agree and thank you for this sharing it will serve as a reminder for me...

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Kate Macdonald - facebook.com
Thanks

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Myrna Herbsman - facebook.com
true

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Julie Adkins - facebook.com
I agree with Joyce McCallum Very well said they will never change

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Shelley Cairns - facebook.com
Nice

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Ya Min Han - facebook.com
Right!

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Lily Leong - facebook.com
Happy is a choice and decision.

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Michael Thomas - facebook.com
possible

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Norma Amion - facebook.com
I like be happy too.

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Tanya M. Walsh - facebook.com
Be there done that..

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Carl Hanley - facebook.com
so true

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Shirley Morales - facebook.com
I know

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Shasti Williams - facebook.com
yup

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Sandra Davidson - facebook.com
thanks for sharing as been hard time through it

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Maria Tassakis-Caskey - facebook.com
RIGHT !!!!!!

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Carolyn Brister - facebook.com
so true

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Joyce McCallum - facebook.com
This is true! It happened to me recently! I wanted my family to be closer and I prayed for that. I talked to my daughter about calling her aunts, and I went to my sisters for Christmas and was happy about getting them gifts because I am disabled and on medicaid! I saved some money and thought I treated everyone....The bad news came after that, although my youngest sister was nasty to me and ignored me for the most part, I asked her for some pictures of my Grandmother, because I didn't have any and told her why I should have them. My therapist said I should assert myself....I did, but she called me and shouted and yelled and said I was crazy and a nut, and like my self centered mother....I don't have much money, but she said I should have given her some of my Income Tax Return for my Mother's funeral service that she had in the back of her home....I had to report to the State every penny of my returns so they would know I didn't give them to anyone, or I would lose my disability and medicaid! I got very angry and acted out. I just got home from the hospital. When I was there they did not call or visit me...They think I was a burden when I first was sick. I have not called them for anything in years, except to say hello and see how they were. I was taking meds that were making me ill and I was week. The day after she attacked me I came down with the flu. She is a health care worker and just didn't care about anything but her's !!!!! She is a status seeker and a big mouth! I have walked away so I don't have any more drama in my life...I am happier without them! If you are treated like this by anyone, just walk away. The will not change!

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Mary Crutts - facebook.com
AMEN

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Brenda Walsh - facebook.com
So true!

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Morgan Carruth - facebook.com
true !

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Evelynne Deme - facebook.com
Oh Yes, how very true. Been there, done that. This is me...

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Susie Kirby - facebook.com
Thanks for this one. I learned the hard way.

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Katherine Benjamin - facebook.com
So so true !

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Douglas Hamilton - facebook.com
so true

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Pallavi Singh - facebook.com
i had already ..

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Mary Mobley - facebook.com
true statement

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Barbara Teasley - facebook.com
TRUE.

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Mohamed Ibrahim Jhony - facebook.com
true

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Kelly Shaw Ecabert - facebook.com
I am learning this. But I am a slow learner

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Olee Nashalik - facebook.com
yes

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Kathy Crane Wolfe - facebook.com
So true!!

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Debra Sampson - facebook.com
Very true!

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Ashfaq Ahamed - facebook.com
thats true

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Maurice McCabe - facebook.com
Such wisdom!!

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Lorraine Muse - facebook.com
This was mint for me for real.

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Cherry Camingawan - facebook.com
Awesome post

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Ayana Williams - facebook.com
Purrrrreeeeeee TRUTHHHHH




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Bryant H. McGill

Human Potential Thought Leader ✮ WSJ & USA Today Best-Selling Author ✮ Top Social Media Influencer ✮ UN Appointed Global Champion ✮ 12+ MILLION Social Subscribers ✮ Reaching 50+ Million Weekly ✮ Syndicated on People Magazine & Huffington Post Celebrity ✮ Co-Founder of McGill Media & Simple Reminders, SRN, and the Royal Society

"I live in Austin, Texas with my wife Jenni, and I have three amazing daughters. I am a simple person, who as a boy, ran around barefoot on a dirt-road in Alabama — dreaming of being a writer. I am probably best known as a writer of pithy sayings and small, simple aphorisms which have found their way into tens-of-thousands of publications, including by some of the biggest publishers in the world. I love to inspire people and show them their inner-beauty. I see the world spiritually. My mission is to cause people to consider kinder ways in which we could do business, structure our relationships and treat the world." Bio


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