Listen, I know it is hard when you feel alone. There are many types of alone too. There is the type of alone where your life is empty with no real friends or loves. There is also the type of alone where your life is full of people, and yet you have no deep and meaningful connections or passion. Then there is the type of alone where people are coming and going and living their lives, and you feel like an invisible observer in an intersection, watching people who are happily passing by, living the life you think you want. Real loneliness can seem like a slow death, where you watch the flower of what you have to offer wilt, and the petals drop one-by-one unnoticed. Then there is the worst kind of loneliness; a feral type of desperation that leaps at every person who pays attention to you and will not let go. The healthy and happy people you want seem to run for their lives, while the damaged, lonely people grab on with equal desperation in a bizarre death-spiral into the darkest of the dark. But have you ever considered another type of loneliness; a good and healthy, happy loneliness? Do you dislike yourself so much that you can't stand to be around you? What? It's boring you say? Let me tell you, if you are bored it is only because you are a boring person. Oh, you just want some companionship? That seems reasonable. Are you a good companion to yourself? Loneliness is really a wonderful companion that can show us so much about ourselves and others. Loneliness will give you the greatest chance of ever having a beautiful relationship with another person.
If you put a couple in a room together, those two people, as the only creators in that room, have the power to create a literal heaven between those four walls. So why do so many people create a hell? Let's simplify and remove one of the people. Even one person, alone in a room will often create a living hell for themselves. They will fill the space with their doubts, fears, addictions, blame, worries and desperation. Have you ever been that person? Being alone will show you who you really are, and if you cannot get-on positively as the sole master of your space in that room alone, then you can absolutely forget about it after you add another person. You had better start practicing being happy when you are alone.
Nothing is worse than being constricted in passion, love, and raw potential, when life could be so rich and beautiful by working as a cooperative team with a loving companion. Not having a solid partner in your life can intensify life's struggle. You can only go so far alone. No one person can do it all. But to get a solid partner you have to be a solid partner. You can only attract and keep what you are, or lower. You must elevate yourself to the level of your higher hopes. Sure. You want to be touched, inspired and made to feel alive. But a relationship is like a bridge where you meet other people half-way. That means if you want to be touched, inspired and made to feel alive, you have to be touching, inspiring and bring the fire of your aliveness to the union of your companionship. You must live what you wish to receive. Because we are always growing, life compounds and magnifies what is already within us. If you are miserable you grow in misery, and if you are joyful you grow in joy. This makes self-love the perfect soil from which to grow love.
"At the innermost core of all loneliness is a deep and powerful yearning for union with one's lost self."
— Brendan Francis
You see, people have some really crazy ideas about love, friends and relationships. They have the absurd belief that their friends, children, family, lovers and companions can make them happy. Love is by, for and about you, and it never had anything to do with another person. The love you bring to the table, is a way of living that you have been practicing in your life — and that love can be needy, controlling, selfish, conditional and desperate, or it can be confident, open, giving, unconditional, and secure. Your love capability is something you cultivate within yourself. Loving is like any other art-craft where the masters have carefully practiced and where the novices have languished in their carelessness. This is why some relationships look so beautiful, and some look so tragic — beauty belongs to the thoughtful; tragedy to the neglectful.
"The purpose of relationship is not to have another who might complete you, but to have another with whom you might share your completeness."
— Neale Donald Walsch
If your life is like a tragedy it is because you have been neglecting something — most likely yourself. All those happy people you see, they know something you don't know. They know about a balanced type of relationship where they are selfish for the sake of others. You have to learn how to take care of yourself. Who you need, is you. It was always about, and for, you. You're the one you've been looking for; you complete you. If you have never found yourself, the best place to look is in your loneliness, and rock-bottom is even better. Quit looking "out there" for that magical "something" or "someone" to come and rescue you from your tragic loneliness. Do you want to know what people love? People love passion; they love people who are happy in themselves; they love people who are going places and doing things; people love people who are confident and secure, but most importantly people love most those who love themselves. Love is not about finding the right person, but about being the right person. If you get love and attention that you are not ready for, it will not fulfill you the way you imagine. We sustain our loving relationships by loving ourselves. We are only fulfilled by love when we ourselves are filled with love. If you want the perfect relationship, start with the one you have with yourself. If you make it right with yourself, it will be right with the whole world.
"Pause and remember— Love is available to you the moment you are available to love."
— Jenni Young
You are reading a portion of writings from the #1 National Best-Seller, "Simple Reminders." Click to learn more and ORDER your copy today!
|Have you ever considered another type of loneliness; a good and healthy, happy loneliness?
|If you are bored it is only because you are a boring person.
|Loneliness is really a wonderful companion that can show us so much about ourselves and others.
|Loneliness will give you the greatest chance of ever having a beautiful relationship with another person.
|Being alone will show you who you really are, and if you cannot get-on positively as the sole master of your space in that room alone, then you can absolutely forget about it after you add another person.
|To get a solid partner you have to be a solid partner. You can only attract and keep what you are, or lower.
|Sure. You want to be touched, inspired and made to feel alive. But a relationship is like a bridge where you meet other people half-way. That means if you want to be touched, inspired and made to feel alive, you have to be touching, inspiring and bring the fire of your aliveness to the union of your companionship.
|You must live what you wish to receive.
|Because we are always growing, life compounds and magnifies what is already within us.
|If you are miserable you grow in misery, and if you are joyful you grow in joy.
|Self-love the perfect soil from which to grow love.
|People have some really crazy ideas about love, friends and relationships. They have the absurd belief that their friends, children, family, lovers and companions can make them happy.
|Love is by, for and about you, and it never had anything to do with another person.
|Your love capability is something you cultivate within yourself.
|Loving is like any other art-craft where the masters have carefully practiced and where the novices have languished in their carelessness.
|This is why some relationships look so beautiful, and some look so tragic — beauty belongs to the thoughtful; tragedy to the neglectful.
|If your life is like a tragedy it is because you have been neglecting something — most likely yourself.
|You have to learn how to take care of yourself. Who you need, is you. It was always about, and for, you.
|You're the one you've been looking for; you complete you.
|If you have never found yourself, the best place to look is in your loneliness, and rock-bottom is even better.
|People love most those who love themselves.
|Love is not about finding the right person, but about being the right person.
|If you get love and attention that you are not ready for, it will not fulfill you the way you imagine. We sustain our loving relationships by loving ourselves. We are only fulfilled by love when we ourselves are filled with love.
|If you want the perfect relationship, start with the one you have with yourself.
|If you make it right with yourself, it will be right with the whole world.
|Because we are always growing, life compounds and magnifies what is already in us. If you are miserable you grow in misery, and if you are joyful you grow in joy. This makes self-love the perfect soil from which to grow love.
Melissa Winters - facebook.com
You have to be happy with yourself before you can be happy with anyone else...
Katie Price - facebook.com
Aloneness is a great teacher, when alone you discover what you thought were your likes and loves were actually someone else's. How vulnerable we are to outside influences. Know Thy Self can be and arduous process but also liberating.
Carmen Paris-hunter - facebook.com
Incredible messages of truth. Well written & received. Namaste
Dea Mandir - facebook.com
Lisa Kerris - facebook.com
Everyone needs to read and understand this. I know it is long but it is sooo worth it!!
Joanne Candelario - facebook.com
Nothing else I can say.. This one really struck me! So true!
Robin Bender - facebook.com
Easier said then to do when you were never taught how to love ourselves ....
Ali Walen - facebook.com
Lisa Jacob - facebook.com
Steve Ellis - facebook.com
Linda Alcala - facebook.com
Absolutely!! Shared on Sobriety By The Grace Of God
Sergio Barrero - facebook.com
Lina Kaneva - facebook.com
Marla Owens - facebook.com
Perfect timing for me to receive this message - thank you.
Keira Trager - facebook.com
Wow. Just wow Wow-:)
Sharon Tatum - facebook.com
Even God commands us to love ourselves.
Mary Louise Gordon-Toledo - facebook.com
Yes, enjoy yourself and if you can not be your true self when you are with whomever the company that you are in, DON'T allow that company to be repetitive if at all possible or keep extremely minimal, as you will waste your precious time and even your whole life ...if you marry someone just to avoid being alone. If you do not love who you are when you are together, A slow death for sure, as the soul grows very dark aching each time your joy for life is quenched. So fill your cup with laughter and affection and sights that you will remember with anticipation!
Luann Wiles - facebook.com
The essence of life - facebook.com
Jacinta Dowling - facebook.com
Well that says it all. And its so true.
Thein Mozhi - facebook.com
Vry true... Dependency leads to expectatns nd dat to disappointments... Gud dat to be selfdependent nd luk into the inner strength of oneself to feel complete nd confident by loving ourself...
Connie Montoya - facebook.com
Cheri Vitillo - facebook.com
Geraldine Planter - facebook.com
Wow identity with a lot of this.
Janet Ferguson - facebook.com
Blah Blah Blah.....I was bored to tears after the second paragraph.....geeeez
Neng Virtucio - facebook.com
Positivity is the Key to Life - facebook.com
thank you Bryant McGill sharing
Heather Hamilton - facebook.com
Lisa Garner - facebook.com
Cassie Carter - facebook.com
Sheila Mae Doong - facebook.com
A great message to keep.
Olajumoke Ogunneye - facebook.com
Milagros Morales - facebook.com
Matt Benedetti - facebook.com
Melinda Elliott - facebook.com
Yes but sometimes u give the half way and more and the.person ur with becomes selfish and lies betrayal no respect then ur left empty and hurt and alone with no answers .
Geraldine Butterly Gallagher - facebook.com
So true x
Laurie Moors - facebook.com
Practice makes perfect! Time to get with it.
Jennifer Van Nort - facebook.com
Good thoughts...need to put into practice...
Kiran Sehgal - facebook.com
This was much needed.... A Million Thanks!
Catriona Kennedy - facebook.com
True, if u dont love yourself who else will!!!
Molly Ng - facebook.com
is very true
Mary Grace Lockney - facebook.com
This is full of so much truth and inspiration!
Ray Arroyo - facebook.com
Marvelous, aww inspiring.
Teresa Browning - facebook.com
Nicky Tanti - facebook.com
Chill Leo - facebook.com
Terry Vanderlaan - facebook.com
Think Positive words - facebook.com
Shriyash Patil - facebook.com
Unconditional Love - facebook.com
Marie Carter - facebook.com
Omgggg so true!
Jackie Oldham Magee - facebook.com
Bob Rush - facebook.com
So on point!
Melanie Raposas - facebook.com
So so true very inspiring.luv urself' first bfore others.thanks
Jojo Roa - facebook.com
To be happy is to blame and accept what you've done to yourself and others,either you make good or not. The best enemy is self denial when there's a mistake and shows when you're right.Anyway.we are the beneficiary of everythng we do. It' s the true sense of a real life.
Rosalia Gaspe - facebook.com
Cuca Prado - facebook.com
Amen so true !!
Pearl Duran - facebook.com
Very inspiring.. love it!
Eric Matthew D'Amico - facebook.com
But...but...but...I can't date myself D:
Thalia Liza Quino Beltran - facebook.com
Sandra Abadie - facebook.com
Paula Keegan Hamlin - facebook.com
Vivi Andy - facebook.com
Mirelle De Fatima Wittig - facebook.com
I work with myself every minute ... But I'm like a cat .... A lil lazy to start and very finicky and sometimes ..... Frisky !!!!! Meawwwwww. ....mpurrrrr !!!!!! He !
Dawn Oconnor - facebook.com
It's harder than it sounds!!!!
Mary Zelinsky - facebook.com
SO VERY VERY TRUE
Roberts Bocande - facebook.com
Haroon Gill - facebook.com
yes its true
Fawzia Khan - facebook.com
Isaiah-Bazilio Apwa - facebook.com
It was the best thing that happened to me XxX
Karen Oldacre - facebook.com
So very true
Ned Arbogast - facebook.com
I have a love hate relationship with myself.
Gloria Kimberly - facebook.com
Everina E Pulliam - facebook.com
I like this, If can enjoy your own company, how can you enjoy the company of others.: )
Bahar Tavakolian - facebook.com
doesn't work all the timehave tried it...
Everina E Pulliam - facebook.com
I meant can't enjoy your own company. sorry for the typo
Jessica Torres - facebook.com
John Pipes Preston - facebook.com
I say it all the time!!! If yu don't love urself no one will!!!
Jean Roberts - facebook.com
Alexnder Faraz - facebook.com
Dana Herald - facebook.com
Cordelia Solo - facebook.com
Debbie Whitehead McCann - facebook.com
Louise Randell - facebook.com
Sandro Poeira - facebook.com
Bill Brooks - facebook.com
tough road for me.
Gavin Brown Zimba - facebook.com
I just need tht.
Paulina Sosa - facebook.com
Deborah Enne Krug - facebook.com
Lois Skvarek - facebook.com
Shreya Sarkar James Dee - facebook.com
Melissa Lam - facebook.com
Thanks. Yourself with God. It's Awesome!!!!!!
Patricia Holton - facebook.com
Yeppers most definitely. Amen
Carrie Sherrod Franklin - facebook.com
Joyce Olson - facebook.com
working on it!
Linda Mistretta - facebook.com
Darren Christopher - facebook.com
James Sprintall No relationship is perfect. It's all about picking the perfect partner to go through hell with
Robin Wright-Nichols - facebook.com
Ann Sue Laughren - facebook.com
Correct ; great, true
Donna Dapello Schrader - facebook.com
If you aren't happy with yourself, you will never be happy with someone else.
Leyla Crescente - facebook.com
I love that
Aaron Diamond - facebook.com
Laura Crick - facebook.com
Anni Kruse - facebook.com
CandaceFaith Johnston - facebook.com
Sheila Mcfarlane - facebook.com
Aw this is beautiful & so, so true. Yhank you for sharing x
Raquel Bajado Tegio - facebook.com
Vicki Rivera - facebook.com
Lizette Zuniga - facebook.com
Absolutely. Without that nothing will fall into place!
Jan Langford - facebook.com
From my experience learning to be alone and liking your own company is a life lesson, which makes you stronger and more able to face the world. It ain't easy though!
Peggy Deringer - facebook.com
Thank you for sharing. Bryant McGill ... Exactly what I needed to read and at the perfect time.
Carmen Montoya - facebook.com
Thanks I needed that message
Heather Nathaniel - facebook.com
Yesum !!!! work in progress !!!
Carmen Dz - facebook.com
It all starts with the man or woman in the mirror. So true.
Paul Fraser - facebook.com
Eva DeSalvo - facebook.com
You know it!
Eve Ronquillo Orolfo - facebook.com
So so true!
Roberta Rowland Goodman - facebook.com
Nie Cristal - facebook.com
Good write-up! Thanks for sharing
Bertie M Worth - facebook.com
this is great
Ashley Covey Zoë Hjelm - facebook.com
I met this man in person at the ups store when I was at Sullivan
Ho Sze Yen - facebook.com
I love this! Thank you
Ashley Covey - facebook.com
Nicole Covey <3
Lizzy Lopez - facebook.com
A Journey of Faith - facebook.com
A Lovely share
Darrel Ling - facebook.com
Nie Cristal <3
Nelson Monserrate Nabo - facebook.com
Linda Kay Scott - facebook.com
Such an eye opener! Much to incorporate into my mind & life!
Rose Monaco Russell - facebook.com
Melody Ann Herring McNeely - facebook.com
LeeAnne Leppelman - facebook.com
I think it was my Aunt Shirley that said to one of my boys that "only boring people get bored" and I remember thinking how true that is! After all these years of living by that rule...because I am NOT a boring person I will NEVER be bored...it was cool to see it in print
Robert N Kimberly Cameron-Rispoli Jr. - facebook.com
You ALWAYS START WITH the one In THE MIRROR!!! Perfect
Renee Infield-Kohl - facebook.com
Olivia Bright - facebook.com
I beleive in these words .
Olivia Bright - facebook.com
Cheryl Negri - facebook.com
Wow. I needed to read this...
Nitin Shah - facebook.com
Neela Pillai - facebook.com
Profound words and makes such an interesting read .There's so much one needs to learn and it starts with knowing yourself first .It starts with you to be sum of The Universe
Natasha Powell - facebook.com
Luv this !
Anshul Singh - facebook.com
thnx bro deeply
Lisa Wishoun - facebook.com
That was absolutely perfect! Thanks.
Carol Warner - facebook.com
So true so true
Leonard Syrinek Glade - facebook.com
I finally found myself.
Luisa Garcia - facebook.com
Amar Sharma - facebook.com
But it hurts when u r alone......whatever the situation is.
Michelle Delmodes - facebook.com
I do not love myself. I was hated as a child and learnt to hate myself. I wish I could love myself, but I fear more for my child
Habiba Dughman - facebook.com
Its soooo true
Joy Meena - facebook.com
So true...valuable perfect....
Don Sam - facebook.com
I really like dis
Zita Selleret - facebook.com
Awsome Thank You Thank You Thank You x x x x
Michelle Barker - facebook.com
that was deep and a perfect story.
Barbara Day - facebook.com
Yes, thank you for the great reminder ...to love and know oneself before we can give love to others. ....meditation at least once daily helps us on this journey! Love always ♥♥♥.
Jacinta Clare Boland - facebook.com
Kirstie Henderson - facebook.com
Phyllis Derrick - facebook.com
That's what is wrong today....you have to love and value yourself to love and value others.
Nicola Cunningham - facebook.com
This is awesome and well worth the long read. Totally enjoyed every bit of it. Sooo inspiring.
Carlina Hogan - facebook.com
Thanks this is so true
Theresa Garrison-Castro - facebook.com
Keeley Staples - facebook.com
Sarah Grace read this
Lorrie Workman - facebook.com
This is awesome!!!!
Lois Roberson - facebook.com
A lot of meaning....deep stuff
Elaine Ferguson - facebook.com
i understand all of what you say and will share this with others. i want to get my life on track. its never to late.
Tammy Coté - facebook.com
Wow! Thanks for reminding me of how it all unfolds...I needed to be reminded and I'm getting there slowly...baby steps...
Kisha Johnson - facebook.com
Soul Speaking - facebook.com
Totally support this perception too!
Trish Murray - facebook.com
Shared on Sober and Happy......
Gail Tatum - facebook.com
I love this!
Ilse M Hauter - facebook.com
as jy vrede met jouself het, gelukkig in jouself is kan jy baie makliker met ander regkom.
Martine Coremans - facebook.com
Prakash Chhatpar - facebook.com
in this world nobody will come to help when you are alone all the relation of wife ,lovers husbamd mother daughter are false only belive in god at time of deadth is true true friends are those who stand with you at time of despair.
Carolyn Osborne Russell - facebook.com
So True, If U Don't Love Yourself How Can U Love Another !!
Chuck Bensch - facebook.com
Jazz M. Baltazar - facebook.com
Amazing thought. ..it inspires me. .thanks
Angie Foo - facebook.com
I have to look deep into myself. Definitely i have to learn and become a better person and to be a better companion.
Twyla Haley - facebook.com
Sheila Trice - facebook.com
Wow! So poignant. A pearl of wisdom.
Nay Yee Ba Swe - facebook.com
Very powerful and effective. Thank u.
Janice Nolasco - facebook.com
thanks for thebeautiful reminder. such an inspiration.
Cariana Stroud - facebook.com
Thanks Bryant, very profound !
Carleen Calistri-Hill - facebook.com
Wow. Nice. Refreshing. Inspiring. Truth.
Karina Gausina - facebook.com
catch some new points today
Antonio Torres - facebook.com
Me Luv! YeahEEE!
Hana Luettringhaus - facebook.com
Ellia Noel - facebook.com
Carol A Manzo-Pelosi - facebook.com
God first then myself !!
Lazaro Gapo - facebook.com
yeah for ya guys not for me
Patty Peterson - facebook.com
Yep..love your selves
Mrinal Patil - facebook.com
this is realy inspiring for me
Laurie Ann Sharpe - facebook.com
Pamela Estremera - facebook.com
Yes..working on that! Until then..no relationship for me..
Farhan Ansari - facebook.com
Elizabeth Izzo - facebook.com
Monica Mendoza - facebook.com
Leah King - facebook.com
Ghislaine Constance Lagier - facebook.com
I WANT THE SAME !!
Frida Willis - facebook.com
Been there done that. Now where the hell is mr Right?
Ghislaine Constance Lagier - facebook.com
I AM CLEAN !!
Ghislaine Constance Lagier - facebook.com
YES I DO !
Pat Dunn - facebook.com
I like that!
Patricia Clarke - facebook.com
Jette C W Madsen - facebook.com
Kate Turner - facebook.com
Sharon Smith Seewalt - facebook.com
Mary Bell - facebook.com
No help there.
Christian Dave Necesario - facebook.com
hahahaha this is a great one, the answers and thoughts i have has already been said and i relate on it. And i know too that its hard to be alone but alone its self has a very deep meaning. You will know who u are and what you are and it will show you what you really want only if you understand it and pay attention about it. This post is very true, TRUE HAPPINESS COMES FROM WITHIN, DO NOT SEEK IT WITHOUT.
My Prince's Gift - facebook.com
Share about life, love, grief, healing for all Sharing, thank you ~Laurel
Gayla Logan - facebook.com
Nancy Hanlon - facebook.com
So very well written! Good for everyone to read, especially people who are living alone & no family around! Nancy h.
Jacquemae Hopper-Gibson - facebook.com
Hazel Gifford - facebook.com
so true how can you love someone if you dont love yourself
Luis Felipe Gonzalez Gomez - facebook.com
It´s the only way
Yolanda Sandstrom - facebook.com
Margaret Rizzo - facebook.com
Amen n Thankyou.
Sangita Chattopadhyay - facebook.com
How amazingly put in wrds.....thanks fr such a butiful message
Jillian Bawden - facebook.com
100% true! Then hang out with other people that have a great relationship with themselves. Have a romantic relationship with such a soul as well! Life is so enjoyable this way
Preeti Sharan Srivastava - facebook.com
Maria Veronica - facebook.com
Love it! thanks for sharing!
Deanne Campbell - facebook.com
Love this truth. It's vital to make peace with loving who you are. God makes no mistakes; man does. If someone is struggling with self-love, they lash out at everyone. Sound counsel...
Kate Dickman - facebook.com
Shweta Tiwari - facebook.com
Thnku to guide me sir
Michael Ohnhaus - facebook.com
Jocelyn Murray - facebook.com
Love this message, but how does 1 learn to have a relationship with 1s self
DrKuku Barbara Connally - facebook.com
Lyn Bentoy - facebook.com
So true... love the msg.. thnx fr sharing..
Marionette Marais - facebook.com
Wonderful and true
Philip Makoor - facebook.com
This is very inspiring
ThuNyein Aye Dimple - facebook.com
Austin bro read this
William Martin - facebook.com
You post the most heart warming quotes . ANGEL!
Melony Zackey Botha - facebook.com
Maria Liakou-Pope - facebook.com
Rashed Zaman - facebook.com
Lily Zard Aboujaoude - facebook.com
Juliette Heim - facebook.com
Raja Srihari - facebook.com
Prasad nice one
Lynn Harrison - facebook.com
Well said and very thought provoking!
Holly Mccarthy - facebook.com
True except the perfect part, that wont happen period, we are all human, no 100% for anyone..........
Eni Gobo Belic - facebook.com
It would be much easier if someone alse is responsible for the way we feel..
Nandita Bharadwaj - facebook.com
Love yourself .. But don't try to judge yourself so hard.. Loneliness is not happy lonely .. You are unhappy and lonely.. Just be in the present .. And not try to control everthing .. That will save a lot on the heart ..
Jeanne von Lindern - facebook.com
Thank You for this very clear teaching ! I whole Hearted agree !
Prakash Solanki - facebook.com
Marsella Gonzalez-Goodman - facebook.com
Suzie Baxter - facebook.com
Beth McArdle Sanborn - facebook.com
yep yep yep
Trisha Slade - facebook.com
Every time !!
Kambiz Torabizadeh - facebook.com
One of a kind.
Gavriliu Cornelia - facebook.com
With me have all time...
Jennifer Pomento Tolipas - facebook.com
Fran Hastings - facebook.com
Nicola Hendry Tash Burke - facebook.com
Phyllis Butikofer - facebook.com
So very inspiring and true!
Margaret Stewart - facebook.com
yes i do believe its very true, and i know wwithout a doubt my confidence and sense of humour is coming back,and i also know that i will have to stop worrying about a few people who are telling lies, learn to hold my head up nad move on.
Mary Flynn - facebook.com
Very well said.