Habits: Escaping old patterns to become a better you!
At the very basic level all people are creators. We are all creating at every moment. Sometimes we are creating positive experiences and sometimes we unfortunately create negative experiences for ourselves and others. We all want something out of life and it is very natural that people want to create, re-create and develop themselves. It is natural and healthy to want to enhance your creative skills and abilities, so you can access your own version of joy and abundance. The problem for many people is that they get stuck in old, negative patterns. Now, I talk a lot about what I call the beautiful path, in which I encourage people to adopt a lifestyle of positive life patterns. The problem that some people run into, is that they are not able to easily escape their old negative patterns, because they are habituated to a certain type of thinking. Most healthy people innately want to be their best possible self. Every person wants to advance in life and be surrounded by beauty, prosperity, abundance, and most of all love. However, many people find that when they attempt to advance themselves, they slip back into their old, negative patterns and behaviors. Why?
There are many reasons why people become "stuck" in their development. One common problem is habitual thought patterns and the self stories that people tell. For example, some people have stories from their past experiences that they tell over and over again when they meet new people. This may be a story about a challenge they faced, or some terrible event that happened to them, or maybe even a repetitive story from their youth, about rebellion, pranks or trouble. Sometimes these stories involve inter-personal drama in the form of social, relationship or family "war stories." They tell these stories repeatedly without noticing that these stories reinforce a part of their old self, or lower self, that does not represent the person they presently desire to be. So, an important part of becoming your best self is being very careful about your self-talk and self-stories. These stories, though seemingly harmless, represent a form of self-hypnosis. Negative self-talk and negative affirmation can keep you anchored in old thought patterns and identities.
Another problem that people encounter is when they have people in their lives that have been around for a long period of time, and these people only know and accept the "older you" and not the person you are striving to become. A lot of people are not really evolving themselves, and some of these people don’t like it when they see someone from their social peer group advancing, and maybe even doing better than them. So, these people will sometimes be quick to point out something negative you may have done in the past, or they may bring up a negative behavior when you "slip-up" while you are working on yourself. Sometimes these people can even encourage the old negative behavior you are trying to eliminate, because they enjoy that part of you, or they may even secretly, or sub-consciously want to see you fail. You want to avoid all messages which reinforce your old patterns, whether those reinforcements come from yourself or from others.
The most dangerous negativity comes from ourselves in the form of doubts, fears and unreasonable self-criticisms. Excessive self-criticism is a bad habit and extraordinarily self-destructive. Don't be your own worst enemy! Being overly critical of yourself is like having a relentless, inescapable bully who follows you everywhere you go. Imagine a bully who points out all the things you have done in your past, such as mistakes you’ve made and even future things that you “allegedly” cannot do or accomplish. But the problem with this type of bully is that you can’t get rid of them, because it is YOU. The worst bullies you will ever encounter in your life are your own thoughts. This type of unreasonable self-criticism represents a form of self-hatred and fear.
My advise for everyone is to carefully analyze the old stories that you choose to perpetually tell, for these are really life-long meditations. If those stories are negative, base or not supportive of the vision you have for your future self, it would be wise to quit telling those stories completely. Instead, develop new stories from new positive experiences and relationships--the experiences of your emerging new self! Resist at all cost telling your old negative stories.
So let’s talk about some of the tools you can use to encourage further development of your new, better-self and which will help you escape your old, negative life patterns.
- Surround yourself with beautiful and positive people, who love you and believe in you and believe in the possibilities that exist for your vision of a more positive life.
- Learn to catch yourself and stop yourself immediately when you are engaging in negative self-talk.
- Stop telling old stories, or so-called “funny” stories, from your youth, high school, college days, or any other time in your life when you were not living up to your full potential as a positive person.
- Become a very cautious consumer scrutinizing everything that you allow into your mind, which includes conversations, books, television shows, and environmental situations which may reinforce negative life patterns or baser thinking. The old saying that, “you are what you eat” extends beyond the body and includes the soul and the mind.
- Become a cautious consumer about the food that you are allowing into your body. Eat beautiful foods, which are nutritionally dense, wholesome and natural.
- Create and maintain a beautiful environment and surroundings in which to live. Keep your area orderly and clean. Allow sunshine and light into your rooms and life! Open windows for fresh air. Try to reduce mechanical and unnatural background noises such as television and commercial radio. Fill your space with beautiful music or nature sounds that are uplifting, exhilarating or inspiring.
- Get as much exercise as possible, even if it is just a short walk each day. Even gentle walking is completely transformative for the body and mind. Walking energizes and activates all of the systems of your body from your immune system to your circulatory system and digestive system. Walking awakens the total senses. Always try to walk around nature as much as possible and if you can, stay away from busy roads, construction sites or any other areas where you will encounter unnatural machinery, sounds or scenery.
- Spend time socializing with accepting people where there is laughter, leisure and celebration. Anytime we can be around others and having a good time, this is energetically very good for us. Enjoyable social interaction, community and laughter has a healing effect on the mind and body.
- Finally, it essential that you write down your goals. A goal that is not written is not a goal. It only becomes real when you write it down. Writing has the power of permanence. Look at your list daily and read it out loud. Let your list of goals become a mantra and a meditation.
Share your thoughts in the comments below. Are you trying to escape your old patterns? How have you dealt with negative people? Have you ever been too self critical? What are some of you best ideas for changing unhealthy patterns? What lessons, warnings or advice can you share with us from your own experiences? Please share.
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Notice - This text is unedited and came from transcriptions of speaking events and seminars. Please excuse any problems with the material. It will be edited in the future.