Toxic relationships are dangerous to your health; they will literally kill you. Stress shortens your lifespan. [^Stress shortens your DNA telomeres.] Even a broken heart can kill you. [^Research broken heart syndrome.] There is an undeniable mind-body connection. Your arguments and hateful talk can land you in the emergency room or in the morgue. You … See More...
Recent Comments (43,215)
Thank you your great ppl , its very awesome article that i ever read special the few last parts , it took me a while to read the whole things but helped me a lot with my current situation ,on Letting go parts its better not to listen to your heart any more :( juts carry on with your brain not emotions :( .One of the most amazing parts : they touch your hands with their hands not with their heart . Absolutely true , Made my day .......Thanks so much again
Google The No Contact Rule.
The No Contact Rule worked for me. I sent an e mail explaining what I was doing and why so as not to ghost them. This rule works.
Thans!Sir Bryant McGill💖👑💐👍Net this time So Slow,read the above article you Shared so worthful..and realistic...Sorry ,this time the phone is at stuck..during writing ..,💖👑Thanks a lot...for an amazing article ,we have to make ourselves be a humble ,happy healty soul for this we need to be our own hero....not to expect any one to give us love or attention if we are own best friend,..we can learn the art to be not any kind of toxic relationship .it need practice calmness then we suppose always to be in positive good health relation ships that can enhance positive energies and be a Source of blessings for us....💖👑Amen...
Yes, I know the feeling, Carolyn. In the past, I've allowed myself to associate with this likeable person but sometimes can be unpredictable when we binge drink having a good time. However, when I was told by the Police that my mate has gone to jail, I was shocked at first but my life has become normal again because I overcame my excessive drinking by making carrot juice mixed with orange, delicious apple, pawpaw, passionfruit and ginger mixed with water which I drink every day. I enjoy my beer better when I have guests staying at my place without its being addictive.
Maruf Amofe Olutoye
This is absolutely true. i have been in bondage with a toxic woman for more than 20 years. From the onset she told me I should never asked her to further her education. Everything mentioned here began unfolding one after the other. She didn't like my colleagues , they virtually abandoned me. Childhood friends became bad due to one dream or the other she has against them. Any opportunity for me to attend distant seminal /conference kicked against vehemently . she developed deep hatred for my family
members . Any progressive ideas dumped. she respect no one and find it absolutely difficult to utter the
word "SORRY" . I have constantly been on the begging side . I ran for my life when her utterances are
always towards my demise
Thank you for this wonderful article. Loved it. I think it is one of those readings you should go back to from time to time, in order to just NOT forget.
I can’t remove toxic people from my life! They stick to me like Velcro! They won’t go, no matter how I try to ignore them. My obnoxious neighbours won’t move house. They are right under my nose every day. I can feel the thick atmosphere in my veins. The only way I can get rid of them is if “I” move or completely diss them. Toxic people are exactly that. It’s like Chemical waste. You can’t get rid of the smell of them unless they get lost of their own accord. I just keep praying!!
GOOD MASSAGE THANK YOU
Letting go is hellish. So many chances given and no remorse for the hurt littered around a heart. Such lack of humanity is foreign and toxic to me. Yes, letting go is freeing, I survived. Yay.
GOOD MORNING BOTH JENNIE AND BRYANT THANK YOU
This is true
Bertie Grubbs Turpin
I don't like to see people hurting I did a lot to help other people and it came back to me to bradyville way I got criminalized I've got hated by these people that's what I get for doing for other people so I dare do for me or trying to
Rebecca Storck Gray
No wander Im reclusive.
Bettye Bull Edwards
Yes,I’ve seen to many times where children sucked their parents and grandparents dry. Who do u think will take care of them when they can’t take care of themselves?? It won’t be children or grandchildren!
Debbie Rowin French
About time! I can so relate!
Some people save themselves with the help of their family who never leave
God never walked away? Tell me when he EVER was around and then we talk again Kathy. All of us would be a mess without him? Are you serious?
Mary Hobb Jacobs Bailey
Thank you so much I really needed to read thAT today. A very close cousin of mine passed away. The services are today and tomorrow I've been having a real hard time with it since it happened. People try to b nice and say the right thing, but it doesn't help. Im very familiar with "letting go" and "Acceptance" I believe it to b the key to most problems. So Thank You for sharing and reminding me!!
Love Ya 😘
Brea Whelan also not what I was looking for but defiantly some great advise
Needed that! Love it!
Love this ❤️
Marleen Pastor Norvell
Just say hypocrisy. ....
Yes my bf now . Need to leave the relationship
Patricio Fancey don’t let it!!
Kathy Peppers I agree with you, I will help until I breathe my last breath on earth.
So True, Oh How I Needed This Amen
Some people are so damaged as children they do how to care. They are cold and callous with no clue about genuine feelings, empathy or even the slightest sympathy for those they disdain. They put themselves on a pedestal and are quick to point out your flaws, your mistakes, your weaknesses. And it's not deliberate. It's just all they know.
Janice Johnson Nelson
Wonder how many people will read this and not realize it a reflection of themselves
Colline B. Hise
These are narcissists. They are incapable of true intimacy on any level. Avoid them like the plague.
Peggy Ann Bliss
Truly INSPIRING..& Informative..words..of Wisdom..also. profound precise..&soul-ful
Pastor Leo McCarty once told me storms would come and life and we can't get stuck in them we must go through them to get to the other side. True wisdom
Marilyn Moore Farnsworth
Thanks for your letting go speech I hope it will help a lot of people I know it open my eyes 👀 and for that I say THANKS 🙏
Sharon Rohacek Smith
The same goes for narcissists. Unfortunately, this condition can be misunderstood. After years of conflict and pain, the light bulb goes off. Sad 😞 t takes this long and is so misunderstood.
The massive losses I have taken won't fit in this little white box , my heart and resources were depleted ,$ millions spent on taking care of a family and children all lavished with gifts and benefits at my expense while messing up and losing my cash was ok no problem, helped friends stay out of jail and get to the level of respect and ready to prosper when without that they would be doing 5 years instead of stabbing me in the back for a million dollar business, 1500 cars in 7 years and walked away with not a single one or any thing at all .no money no heart.$500k scammed out of me
Million dollar company crashed out and burned
No one cares about you they want you to fail! So they are in a better position. POS for real you won't see it coming.
.Broke and all alone is what I received as a parting gift . Please read this 10 times and don't think this could not be you . Had around 100 people I was nice to and helped out when they needed it just to have almost 100 different people steal thousands of dollars from me and my business and no one cared no one helped no one came to help ,they came to take more and more because my heart cared about the ones that don't care about me.
Over 100 people got cars from me and never paid for them and not a single person will help me with this battle but they sure came fast when I had the successful business and the nicest cars ....and watch out for that girl ! She will tear your heart out like you won't believe and you will crumble too yes it can happen nowadays because the world is a cruel place full OF POS MOTHER FRS THAT WON'T EVER PAY YOU BACK BUT WILL POST THE STUFF THEY BUY AND HOW THEY MADE A BUNCH OF CASH BUT NEVER EVER PAY THE GUY WHO THEY OWED ... WORTHLESS PEOPLE SURROUND US ALL ..
God i wish i could get the strength...habe n a real hard time with it...please HELP ME
Danielle Marie VB
Shared and yes very true
Teresa Cassar Latham
Eunice Falzon Stone
out they go.
I like the article.full of substance.
Look in the mirror first before you can ever try any of these truths on anyone else, more times than naught, your running from yourself, you've hurt more people than you've helped,i know of a certain little boy that won't ever understand what you've done,and aint no self help gouro gonna fix you overnight ba hahhhah
I agree with you 100 per cent
Toxic people hang on to you for their next high. Get rid of them, even if they're family... Or if they're family at least limit your time with them.
Wow.... there's a few people that think I'm a but hole for not accepting them and tolerating their crap,and drama.....
Irish Kate Saguinsin
Feline Jasmin Ramos Macazo tulungan muna natin sarili naten
Well said Bryant McGill, thank you.
Letters From Lillith
Sharing with love ❤️👑🦋
hi Shakira Blake .It takes time to let go.Have gone through divorce also.He was my first lover.Its really hard mostly when children also are concerned.You will become strong going thru such situation.Am proud to be a woman .Dont give up. God will help you.
Pamela C Draper
Tired of hurting!!
Amen very very wise words really applicable to me
Danny N Tristan
Nice read this morning, man this is me, thanx
Is it your proclivity to attract toxic people or is there a defining person?
If may be so bold?
Wow! Letting go of "false" lying fake people yesterday, etc...as this says feels good, but sad at the same time. Best for me to walk away. Let the healing begin.
Khandoker Afrina Akhtar
What i do it?
Your message needs to be shared all across Facebook all across all the books all across all the groups all across all the dating sites everywhere well said Bryant!
Sandra Bejarano Shelton
Cynthia L. Hill
Thank you for your prayers:-)
Bless you cynthia.
Iam willing to make good decision for myself no matter the storm take me..i hold to the little faith i have..which will move mountain..peace
Yes I can best help others from a position of strength and will not allow people who survive through destruction of others take me down with them. Thank you Bryant < 3
OMG, you put words to my thoughts and made it seem so simple to see
That they will never change. Truely spoken after my own heart
Food for thought, interesting article 😀
Millicent Igboanugo Mgbako
So eloquently put so true you are such a strong person for what you have gone through you are great marrianne
Oh yes....yes mommy so awesome!!
That is nothing but the truth tell it to my dauther Rosemarie..
Easier said said than done
Amazing quote to start the week off on a positive note Bryant, thank you and have a blessed week!!💙😅
I needed this...thank you Bryant!
Virginia Gerardo Hernandez
I have to learn that right now.... that’s my situations!
It doesn't mean I'm going to stop trying !!
I needed to see this as it’s time to let it go and move on with my life, the effects of long term domestic violence can destroy someone BUT GOD can and will heal me. I’m a little over 2 years out of it and it’s time to move on with God I can do all things.
Aurora P Nav-rodez
"LETTING GO" -- words of wisdom! Thanks, Bryant, for this
enlightening message. So, let's go, move forward, and live!
So so true
Maria Kasen Phothisaeng
I got pregnant with my first born at 16 almost lost him in the delivery room then almost lost him at 2 years old when he fell 10 feet down the attic then to loose him at 14 I can never recover from the pain cause it's always gonna be there but I have strengthen myself to continue because I know it's what he wanted and I know he's proud of me of how far I have come
Amazing so articulately defined,much thanks to you BRYANT MCGILL i vehemently fallow all your wonderful ,intelligent mind about reality of life,god bless you always
Sad, but true 😔
Boundaries are so important. Be Kind. But know when to say no!
You can lead a horse to water but .... And you can’t make someone
do better. So now I do me 😄😇
Lourdu Maraiah Ramineni
Maria Theresa Oliveros
Take time to read this.
Patrick Bunn Thought you might find this interesting!
Iv read this message before and it came back around I think this is the universe talking to me 😇😱✨💫
Nang Win Kyi
Sher E. Amore
True wisdom! 💙
God bless you💝❤️💙💜💞🙏🙏
Would you stay with someone who would hit you, strangle you or your children? Would you give that person all you have or ever will have including committing suicide because you were told you should? I would hope not.
Oh how true... and as I recovered, I was able to see that relationship as a learning experience. Something I was told but didn't believe at the time. I now know everything IS going to be just fine.
There's a powerful pull towards the negative of things. Some one borrowed and refused to pay back, cheated on you. Betrayed your confidence, the list is long. Your natural self will pull towards the negative. Revenge.Regret. Hate. These are natural and you are pulled towards bitterness and your soul is drained. It's a drama inside often not seen. But go supernatural. Go spiritual. The divine will is stronger and with Jesus who has all the powers over negatives, you will get back your strength to soar again.
I agree. No one can feel the pains of your tight shoes. 'He who feels it knows it'.
Correct.removing them from ur life will make yr life peaceful
Its good there are messages like this that can heal the aching heart andtortured mind long suffering of a guy like me. Thanks lord for you showme the way to release my anxieties in life.
I see and understand. But sometimes you have nowhere to go!
Heather Boon Blom
To me "letting go" means to stop letting the pain control you to the point of being unable to function in a new way... because you will never be the same after a traumatic experience... PTSD isn't something you can "let go" of.... being able to function in a different way and not feeling guilty about it or not feeling guilty when you have a BAD day is part of "letting go"... the attitude of "This is me now, and that's ok".... to me... that's healing.
John Darrin Marion
Oh my gosh. It's so hard to believe where I was 42 weeks ago compared to where I am today. I'm single but never been happier. My heart has all but healed. My head and my feelings are at peace. I fell off the booze weed n cig wagon long ago but am back on. Last time was outta necessity. This time it's by choice. I'm far from perfect, but I'm still trying and right now. That's all that counts.
Elaine M Maybee
Mine walked out after 12 years together...
It was easy for me to move forward nly seeing him daily helped
Brilliant! Im saving this to read everytime....😑
Thanks Bryan McGill I needed this !
So true... very well said... exactly true...
Very true Jessie
🔥 ❤️ 🔥
Real words with things
Thank you Maryanne from MAry Ann, my exact thoughts.
I'm 29 myself and I've been through all these. I can confidently say my mum was the reason I made it. I've been clean for 5 years now to the glory of God.
I don't have any urges of fighting it back cz i changed now.
Cynthia L. Hill
Joshua Gyasi Thank you. Many blessings
We pray with you Cynthia
Melanie Vaughan Hash
Thanks for sharing..! In need of the reminder of a few things..! So at peace I am..! I will continue to love myself and others..! However will never allow somethings to take place to me or around me..!
Long but so worth reading 😉
That has got to be the biggest load of Crap I have ever read. Who was he trying to convince as he kept repeating drop them, run now, leave it all behind, they are not worth your time. Wow. To me that sounded like someone with a whole lot of issues to work out and not someone who should be advising others to up and leave their families or cut them loose. I realize that there IS a time at which you need to draw a line, but this guy makes it sound like if the people around you have issues you need to drop them and say sorry "next".
Andrea Middleton please read this entire article. Wow...TRUTH!
Jennifer Plouffe Farland
Gopal Somani 😂😂😂it was for u
Teri Glasspoole Black
This is such a hard lesson to learn.
Percival Calantuan Zabala
Hassan Ali Muhammad
Julian Catman Pirog
If you believe you can only be happy or find happiness in another person then I believe you are already starting any relationship upon very weak and failing foundations
Julian Catman Pirog
If you believe you can only be happy or find happiness in another person then I believe you are already starting any relationship upon very weak and failing foundations
Julian Catman Pirog
Ditto. Came to me a couple of years ago and then today, as a Facebook memory. It came just at a time when I’ve been doubting myself & my way of life.
It’s ok to be on your own for awhile. Sometimes it’s the only choice, to regain control of a set of awful circumstances that have arisen
I take FULL responsibility for my own poor choices but this has given me something today that I haven’t been even close to in a very long time and that is clarity.
Pete I think you may resonate with this.
Cristina Roldan Ferreira
Wow ! I just read everything !
Yes so true ❤️❤️
Sara Little Haag
Cassie Little you can’t save her!
Oooh ok than it's your sister
Yep sounds like me Sara Little Haag
Thank you!! 💓
Reading again today on my timeline.
Left a marriage because of this. Then later people in my life who brought me down.
Sharing again to keep this going.
Rita Anaya Wing
This is just as true today as it was four years ago! So inspiring.
Such truth put forth so eliquently.
Mr Bryant McGill will the eBook be available in print format?
So sad but so true
Melody Stockwell 🖤
Annette Mariana Mía
Here I am.. 3 yrs after this post.. He's very OUT of my life.. but the negative, harmful & life- changing after effects still linger ...in the form of lost self. :(
Ray Bradshaw Jr.
Author Patryna Goosby
Thanks for sharing these powerful truths
I was s friend of person like that
This is such important information. I need to get this book
Thank you for re -enforcing what I always knew to be true. Being a natural born care taker/healer it is so easy to fall into this rut ... the ever lasting roller coaster ride that soon becomes your life! #1 rule is to take care of YOU first!
Love yourself and stop seeking fulfillment in others
Theresa Martin Saint James
I did it...then I regretted doing it...I reentered...then the inevitable happened. I couldn't respond as traditionally expected. But, my opinion is...this is life saving advice. 🕊
Morgan Peeler I know this is kind of long, but it's good to hear
Ruby Ginamarie this is the post I meant
Diana, I do hear what you're saying. I guess I have some questions before I can offer any kind of a possible solution.
Bryant Miller, I believe was referring to people that are ''incapable'' of compromise or to change their selfish behaviors due to their "unwillingness" to be a person that cares.
Then their are people that are just "unaware" of their selfish behaviors and when you bring the matter to them, they realize now there is a problem and do try to change their character flaw and become better partners because they have that love for you.
With that being said..... My question for you is this......
13 years together..... Is this the 1st time you've brought these concerns of yours to his attention. Because some people show love in different ways..... so he may have wrapped himself in his work with an internal believe system he may have learned from his parents......and that's the way he shows his love, by providing for his family and now he understands that you have been missing him, his love & support..... Now he's willing to get more involved, with moral support and coming to appts....etc. OR...
Have you both continuously fought about this very subject 100's of times over the years and he never does anything about it, he just keeps making empty promises, nothing gets resolved and your confidence in him following through is shaken due to past broken, unresolved issues.
Just asking because there is a huge difference between being incapable and just being unaware because Men are from Mars and Woman are from Venus and we just don't express our love for each other in the same way.
I ask these questions mostly because you say you're preparing to make some big changes with a different type of treatment that will last at least 6 months and last thing anyone would need in your position is to add another huge, life changing event to your life, like separating from someone you've just spent 13 years with. I'm assuming you don't have a friend that can help you through this..... otherwise, you would have done so by now, right?
So I'm just giving you something to think about and process well before making a difficult decision.
Good luck with your new treatment and hope you feel better soon. Blessed be, love & light.
I remember this person in my life. Since leaving that person after 22 years together, I've met many with the same characteristics. All those years I hoped I could have some affect..... unfortunately, the more I tried to please, the more I lost myself and my path. I believe in the psych' terminology they are labeled having "narcissistic tendencies". I refer to them as vampires. If you feel you are in a relationship with these type of people, get out with no remorse, because believe me they're incapable of feeling , even when they put on a good show, so you won't leave them, but the truth is, they're all about themselves.
Love it Bryant Miller. You wrote with empathy for those people, which is a quality "I can not afford to posess for them any longer." I have to remove them from my life at all costs. Thanks for the reminder. Now I realize what I must do, again.
Tihana Bijol De Lorenzo
Who the fuck are you to extend that’s sort of fucked up goodwill to other. Get lost.
Wow !!! This is one of the best things I’ve read in a long time !! I wish everyone was lucky enough to come across this to read !! So powerful!! It puts a lot into perspective!! This is great !!! ♥️♥️♥️♥️
Yes and all I can say is that apple didn't fall far from the tree.
Maniphone Polly Feg
Karen Stmarks I don't know what I said for you to ask me that question. All I said is Jesus tells us to care for those that can not care for their selves. I'm not saying that you do for that petson everything and there are some people that can take care of self but refuse because they want the attention, that is why Jesus asked that question. I know my bible I have walked the walk of taking care of family members and I have also had to walk away when that person did not want to get well when they could have just asked Jesus for help, so don't come at me till you have walked in my shoes dryed my tears and called on Abba to help me make it one more day. God bless you.
Dots Peruda Oyzon
BIG na big corret!
Valerie Roberts Zykan
Leila Wright-Ingle Viljoen
Very wise words
I never thot I'd leave him, but I finally did! Why did I put my own self thru all of that emotional rollercoaster? Now, I've been finding the person I couldn't be because of so much heartache and energy I spent night after night trying to figure shit out!
Wow Mr.Bryant u have pointed the correct definitions of letting go...👌👌👌😊
Some letting go some not. U are right letting go means fixing ourself for positive attitude. Doesn't right to be toxic w/ our companion. Fixing ourself is the trade to more peaceful life.
I’m going to share this, if you don’t mind!
Anna Lissa Perez
Thank you guys..just now I saw this again.i really appreciate all of you appreciate me..☺️😍
Ann Loilo Jamolin
Choose happiness. Don’t dwell with negativity. 🙂
凱凱 Ann Loilo Jamolin Ann Cheyserr Esguerra
Thank you, Sheila!! I love this and it sure is appropriate!!! ❤️
Connie Foley how appropriate that this popped up today! It made me think of your post.
This is my desire..
Amen to that.
Do our words have eyes to see and ears to hear.words have magic if we can reach and touch the soul of each good word.many thanks.
I know a few 😟
Leticia Q. Munoz
Thats a very strong and wonderful message ❤️
Amen Bryant thank you for this, I wish more people would realize this, saved to my Evernote for future reference and to share with loved ones.💖
Sad but tru
It’s so true,thank you ,we love this beautiful and very touching messages to everyone. Love and Prayer, Amen !
Getting out from the weight of a bad relationship is so incredibly liberating. Life is so short, we only have this short life to live, and it is our responsibility to make it the best we can. We deserve peace of mind, we deserve a better quality of life. Before we try to save anyone else, we need to first save and serve ourselves! You cannot serve anyone if you do not look after yourself! There is a difference between supporting someone and trying to save them. The fact is, no one can be saved by anyone but themselves! You can only support and help those who are already putting in the work and helping themselves. Boundaries are absolutely necessary when dealing not only with other people but also when dealing with ourselves. We must know what we are and aren't capable of. Our self-care must remain in the forefront of our attention. Being mindful of our energy and the energy of others can help us to lead a happier more productive life. We must monitor what we allow into our lives. Does it serve us or harm us? Are we acting in our own best interest? Even if you have circumstances in your life that are trying and difficult, you still have a choice as to what you emotionally engage with. Are you going to anchor yourself to fear or love? Are you going to focus on what you can, or can't do? Where will you invest your time, attention, and energy? Cultivating a strong inner peace to carry with us into every circumstance and every moment of life is a necessary, vital component of self-care. Volatile people are not in control of themselves or their faculties. They are like a time-bomb, ready to go off at a moment's notice. Inner peace provides stability and consistent function. It allows for greater control particularly in times of great duress. Sacrificing and martyring yourself for the sake of another is not an act of love. It is an act of self-sabotage. Moreso, it solves nothing, it does not solve the source and root of the problems. A person bent on destroying themselves, will continue to destroy themselves no matter how many times we save them. Trying to save them will only pull us down with them into their turbulent nightmare. Sometimes, we must issue tough love, where we have to enact boundaries, and sometimes, that means we have to walk away. Sometimes, we have to love people from a distance. It is time to take responsibility for your life. You are in charge of you. No one else. Don't let life, other people, or your circumstances pull you to and fro. You can be you, no matter the situation and the circumstance. You can be your own constant amongst the chaos. Learn to work with yourself, work to trust yourself,learn to be self-sufficient. Lead by example. Instead of being a crutch to other people, show them how to help themselves, empower them, show them hope, faith, and their own potential. Recognize that everyone has and always will have their own suffering. You cannot save anyone from all suffering. They will suffer, just like you will suffer. This is part of life and living. Make sure your house is in order before you try to put others in order. Don't spend so much time, attention, and energy helping others that you and your life fall into neglect. There is nothing wrong with engaging in self care! Surrounding yourself with good people, stable, motivated, like-minded, drama free people is imperative. The people you surround yourself will inevitably have a profound influence on you and your well-being. Choose carefully. It is better to have a few right friends, than scores of wrong ones! We dictate how people are allowed to treat us by our own behavior, by our reactions and non-reactions. We must respect ourselves first before we can demand respect from others. We must uphold our own respect. We cannot make such concessions for others, because they are concessions against ourselves. What are we sacrificing ourselves for? For disrespect? Why?! Make clear how you wish to be treated, and enact boundaries for all those who either won't or can't respect your terms. Boundaries may be as simple as detaching yourself emotionally from a person or a situation. Boundaries are not always physical. Acceptance of a situation and circumstance is what will liberate you from your fear, stress, anxiety, and worry. Learn to let situations and people go. It is ok if people don't like you, don't like what you do, or how you do it. Remember, you are living this life for YOU. This is your life first. You can't fight every battle and you won't win every battle you fight. Be selective in where you put your time, attention, and energy. Choose things that will serve to empower you further. The more you empower yourself, the greater your power in life to act from. If you want to effect change, do it in your own life first. Build something, do something, be something first. The more you invest in yourself, the more you will have to give from. ❤️
SO HELPFUL AND HEALTHY ADVICE😇😇😇
Yes, the gift of goodbye.
Zulfiqar Ali Dhool
Yup delete negative ppl from life then life becomes easier.
if you don't have a pacient mind then why you tried to help others, it's a major job to take responsibility about broken person, family and friends , if the person who is spoiled that's mean spoiled , your job is trying to help them rather than talking philosophy.
and worst thing is not stop others help a broken person. so why is here we are for? if we are OK.
Margaret Noll so true! So well said
Every good person wants to be a good person, no doubt.strange that every moment has its heart and eyes though we are expecting our inner heart and eyes to be so good so beautiful all the times above all kinds of sadness and even happiness.am I saying my words to my self more than to others.thank you they are beautiful true and good.
Thanks. I. Need. That. I. Forgot. God. Is good!!! All was. On. Time
Deborah Mawmaw Everett
Thank you. God has been so good to take the horror and give peace
Sherrie Everett Cox
Thank you so very much for defining this. I needed these details. This quote of yours is now handwritten in my journal and etched in my mind. I pray the Lord will bless you for spreading Truth.
Melissa Rose Rothschild
Melissa Rose Rothschild
This article is (imho) one for the history books to be treasured!
It is so tricky to navigate what is our own unresolved issues projected and exacerbated into the other . We usually match ourselves with people that play out lessons unresolved yet familiar from our past.
And sometimes we may actually play a part in the toxic puzzle ... It is truly amazing if two individuals can grow up and through whatever demons they once battled together but independently without becoming the demon for the other.
This is such an insightful and potent article. It should be studied and penetrated through all the many layers ... at least for my personal knowledge 😍💓
Thank you Bryant
Melissa Rose Rothschild
Only by letting go may we allow our minds, bodies and spirits to transcend as One. 🙏🏼💓
Melissa Rose Rothschild
Melissa Rose Rothschild
💓💓💓You ultimately saved yourself , him and the children by walking away.
Much love Varinia . It takes much courage and strength.
Thankyou for this
Louisa M Bauman Author
Josie Hewing U said it for me.
So So True
Ok. I get it.
Helpful enablers that send you off to your destruction. We'll put. I know many of them😂
Heather Bohnet Worden
Amen. Thank you Bryant for all you share. It’s exactly what I need to hear.
I know Kim, it's so painful to watch
S2S with love ❤️
Take care of yourself, so that he can see that you love yourself. Love doesn't always feel like being "in love". Love is more than that. Love is a commitment, to put up with someone and they also put up with you. However, some times that is not possible, if they are abusive, cruel to you and cannot show love. Love yourself enough not to allow anyone to abuse your life.
Yes. It is really good advice. Thank u
Thanks a lot!Sir Bryant Mcgill ❤👑💐for Sharing Such an increadable article really want to hear again...yeah we have to avoid Toxic people and any bad reltionship that can destroy our inner peace,self respect,can harm our health and wellbeing ,as after Mom's death...a lot o had to face as i was too young girl only20 years old...had a mishap of divorce...and have to care the whole home responsibilities....pappas health care he was heart patient..younger brothers care he got upset after Moms death....no one to take a bit responsibility..I joined ladies welfare club...+i made my exercises routines.....my activities at home...took..care of the home as much as i could because it became my prority...it was quite a hard job..relatives from my father side came at the condolences..of my Moms death....and started a fuss in my life.they expect a life to live for them...as they wish...but i didnt make their dreams come true....although whenever they came...itreated them with patience and respect....but i had my limitations....and pappa is nice enough that he gave me one room for my routines...my exercises...my rest...so i deal his family but they can destroy my inner peace.so i take benefit to take refuge at times in my roomi..to relax...and be peaceful althouh with exposures to them their toxic and harmful behaviours...and attitudes at times...made me suffer pain....and unnecssary panics and burdens...but i tried my best to cope with them with patience....+i was alone to deal home matters ,sensitivities..and works with responsibility...and active life style...i set a limit on myself to captivate myself in positive and productive activities so my life can be lead with peace and bit ease...i tried to let go and forgive for myself to go on...it was not easy... but i tried tried and tried...once my elder cousin tried to be close to me at times...he was pure or not but i cant handle such relationship which has no boundries...i needed a life partner who can ease my soul..so i avoided him...and let him restrict him by my pappa not to come to our house...yeah with out a companion with whom you can share..be happy...is a lifes gift for you from God..but a person who is commited in her life in such a strick way..to care the respect of the home..specialy own self respect..one have to remain single how much tough it was .you have to captivate yourself in busy positive and productive ways to ease your soul body and mind and to do good for all...i make my story short here just wanna say be yourself love yourself care your self respect yourself...be patient let go ..forgive ohers expect reward from God and do your best to ease souls...do good for all.Amen.
Letting go sets you free.
Ha ha ha. That was long. But very well said.
Sue Codd Byrne
Sorry these Android phones are messing your words sometimes. Please tolerans needed.
I love to study of your daily devition, and apriciated your time,Thank you so much and forgive me to trouble you with a question Bryan, what do you do when you dont feel or see an escaping way of your bleeding soul although you know you are trying but still daily frears are there? Can you call yourself failure?
Carol Horvath Sawicki
This goes for friends as well as relationships. Sometimes in trying to help a friend, you become an enabler. You excused a lot of the things they did when they drank, because you convinced yourself is was the alcohol. When they stopped drinking, & began the AA journey & continued the behavior of lying, being deceitful, & their AA friends, were encouraging the behavior, by telling them to lie. I had to draw the line. For my own sanity I had to walk away. That friendship was 38 yrs long. So sometimes you have to give up on a person, & let them find their own way, without you. Perhaps she found her way, & only if she was totally honest with herself could she find her self. It was a painful decision but one that had to be made. I wish her well, I wish her love, but most of all I wish for her " Sobriety" .
I feel like this is for me second time in my feed, so I believe the universe is speaking to me😇✨💞
Very well said , i had my own energy vampire i walked away from this person still hasn't changed.
I needed to hear them myself. ❤️
My daughter who treats me like something on her shoe and her toxic partner should read this
Briant help me
I am passing for a dificult situation my relationship end with my girfriend, so I feel totaly desesperated I fell alone in the word, I don find the way to feel better anyone can help me, I do not what to do.
I was not sure whether to comment. I lost my 3rd. , child, a beautiful daughter, she was only 14 months old. But the loss also,of parents, grandparents, and, other people we loved. Death leaves a pain that you can feel, but, Love leaves a memory that no-one can steal !
Donna , please share with Scott , thank you .
Karen Mills Turner
Let Go and Let God!
First you as that person have to believe God died for your sins and my sins! Then you have to be able to give your whole to God! Then it is baby steps for we know that babies take things in a slow process. They crawl before they walk or run! They drink milk before they eat baby Food and then they grow to eat Meat! We start as babes in Christ then we grow to God's grace! Once you continue to grow in grace and we give our all to God we can let go and Let God be our All and All! We must pray for those who have not yet grown in grace and given their total heart to God! But what we can do for those who are not there yet and don't beat a dead horse is continue pray!!
It is a personal choice! But keep praying for Them to come to Jesus with their baggage that they need to give to him to open up that case and cast it All in the sea of forgetfulness! We do our part...they do there part...and Only God can change things!
It's that step, that process, that desire to want to give your pass to God! We don't know the day nor the hour but God does! I pray for whoever needs Jesus! And to have Jesus Joy they souls will be forever changed! God blessings!
Much love! And thank you Mr Bryant McGill for sharing!
Thxs my SIC/EAR/DMT
Gosh, this article is really amazing and highlights and sheds light on the major importance of this exact thing; toxic relationships. It’s so dynamic and there’s not just one thing and one size fits all. Though, there is a one size fits all in terms of “getting out”. Once I realized and stope denying that I was in a toxic and very unhealthy relationship, it didn’t end there. You have to be prepared for hat will come next. It won’t be easy and you will be tempted to get sucked back in.
You cannot help others, they have to want the help themselves first and many times they will not seek that and you are left in the poisonous solace, and/or with dealing with the perpetual self-abusing and drama.
Thank you deeply for this article and speaking on trusting our inner choice and remembering that we deserve to be happy.
Janice R Wayne
What a great article! When there are toxic people in our lives we become a whole different person and then life takes on a whole different meaning. As you said removing them may be difficult at first but then you realize how wonderful life can truly be. It took me years to figure this out and after reading your article it reinforces the decision I made to release these people from my life. Thank you!
Stephanie A. Moya
I had to finish with my husband who was and still has a drink problem. We finally divorced. He left the house and would not stop drinking and after 5years of waiting for him to change I divorced him. There had been some happy times but due to his past life he he suffered abuse himself, he reied on drink more and we had 3 children together in the space of 10years together. 2of our boys being autistic and one beautiful little girl. It is hard to separate and divorce but sometimes it has to happen. Love Vinnyx thanks Jenni and Bryant
It's good to be true to yourself because if that person it's your distiny God make a way when there's no way be happy and don't worry anything . Life is more precious than anything in this world.
I have learned this a long time ago. Sometimes people really do wear disguises and masks very well. Again, if you are not in a situation where you might say you are in a compromising situation or dedicated to something or someone and don't have to be, its okay to cut ties
Same here ...bro. but there is no escape...have to live this life..
I choose to let go of everyone who is not benefiting my life. I feel like I am being destroyed. I will need to make a plan with my therapist.
Sue Redden Redden
Yes. So much yes.
Ohh God just the message I wanted thanks Bryant McGill..u said it all..be blessed..Morwadinyana Segwagwe
That is exactly what I've done.
Fatima S. Ahmad
The sooner the better. Sharing with lotsa 💖 at Positive Quotes and Stuff by Fatima Shahnaz Ahmad.
Letisha AlwayzReal Mason
Letting go makes you a stronger person. Learn from your mistakes and be happy!
This is so true it so many lessons to be learned, It needs to be reposted and reposted .
Fatima S. Ahmad
Be wise! Sharing with lotsa 💖 at Positive Quotes and Stuff by Fatima Shahnaz Ahmad.
So true,my husband and son died,I have been used,drained and they have been so mean.everyone thinks I made of money.i don't seem to have a life.i just feel all alone.i am trying to get it all together.time is short I want to do things before the end.my husband would say ,you are to good and have a good heart, stop and take care of yourself.and that is what I'm going to do,thank you for everything
Beautiful! Thank You! Really Needed Those True Words!
Amen Thank u.
Ty!!! Jacqueline HartmanThis is a definite must share
Straight foward so very right on, well put!
Those are very good words of wisdom!
I totally love this and it's always a work in progress not to get sucked back into the chaos
Lisa Conway Povilitus
Thank you, Bryant ... working on it
Your strong, brave, wise to get away from the toxic person & situations. Keep going & let go of all behind. It will be like you loss 100 lbs. Im hlad you found the courage to move on. Find your freedom, find your true self, find your compassion! GOD & ANGELS with you. Wish you reach your success & destination.
Caring & loving friend through B & J, Tina Ngo
What I like most though I can't do it is to stand in a distance from others keeping a way open not far not near to go back to anyone of them.we won't hold others from going.I always help people going when I just feel though I don't dislike them.
It is a journey of self discovery. Pain is a wound you have to heal from the inside out. One layer at a time. I love you😘❤️🙏
Adrianne McDaniel Shack
Jonathan Jones, Julianna Pastorius, Tammy Journigan Whitacre, Michael McDaniel
Much easier said than done, but so true.
Excellent article Bryant. I have been doing this for years saving myself. My life has taught me many lessons. This article is one lesson, which I really have appreciated. I went from being a doormat at a very young age to being what I have become today.
Someone who has gradually left that life behind. It was a process that wasn't easy but I have accomplished it. I continue to work on this when I feel it is necessary.
Absolutely...kick 'em OUT!!
In reality, there is nothing to let go of. We are not separated from anything nor anyone. Never have been and will never be not even when we depart from these great shores we label as bodily existence.
I understand and agree but its great to be awake isn't it.
You cannot save everyone, but you can save yourself…True, however.
Are you suppose to save anyone anyone anyway?
DOES IT EVER GET EASIER - NO! HOWEVER, YOU DO GET BETTER AT IT!
REPETITION IS NOT A A BAD THING.
We travel within where our greatest power resides.
If we can let go of the many distractions on the outside (Groups & Group Energies for example) that often offer no real solutions, we can hear our inner voice and find the solutions we seek.
Don't become impatient - Wait!
Your time is coming
And when it does it will push you to the front
The principles and integrity you want
will come through YOU!
Expect more and more change. It’s coming not according to human linear time but it’s coming!
Be patient. You deserve it!
So hard, losing mama so recently. Can't seem to let go of the pain, hurt, and grief.
Thank you for this I could have not said it better then this. I forgive those that have hurt me and I'm stronger for it. I have so many angel that are beside me. I'm so lucky.
God blesses you for not giving up!
It took me more than 40 years to realize that I cannot love another without having deep self-love and self-appreciation first. Sometimes it means to take distance from people who dwell in darkness and negativity.
Thank you so much Bryant ❤️
You are such a big part of my blossoming. Love you so much for that and am eternally grateful for your gift ❤️
Sharing this on my page ❤️
This is so true and you try to help them but it’s a lost cost
This article is spot-on. I’ve lived through all these hellish situations holding onto a job (a job I was passionate at). I decided to save myself from toxic people and their toxic behaviour, which affected my health. I nearly had a stroke, had fear and anxiety and heart problems. I needed Peace and Peace of mind in my life.
Agree. Boundaries are obviously needed, but you cannot run away from a child, no matter how old they are. I am assuming that this article is more for romantic relationships.
So true James d. Lu
Uday Bhaskar Sulluru
How true this is Amen!
Yes letting go is the key❤️
Part of my history but not part of my destiny. Boundary setting is so important. I see that now.
This is the most important article on letting go of unhealthy situations and toxic people to bring yourself free of all the abuse you had to deal with and how letting go of it, them is your survival ticket/journey to live and living out the life you were created to have!! The abuse I’ve endured at the hands of others or myself is broken. I finally get it and the flow of living, breathing air is overwhelming! I’ve needed this for 60 plus years. Maybe I just want ready to accept this but I do now! The systematic way this info was put together was the way I needed to take it in to let go and emotionally free myself from unhealthy toxic relationships, people, and guilt their lives weren’t what they wanted. Thank you all from my heart!
My name is Sue Smith, also. I have just moved out of state to escape the exact person that this article talks about..
Sounds like I'm going to make boundaries in my life. Its time to be happy.
Had to save this....several times I've read it.....it becomes more profound.
this article very much important in the present world .sometimes it seems there is no way to get away from people having negativity. but the inner voice always give directions in the right direction ,but unfortunately most of us fail to understand it .it requires some practice and living within us silently it is not possible for us to solve the problems of other . there is no harm in extending a hand up to certain limit .after that let us avoid such people and circumstances
this article will guide people having the problems connected with negativity.and people of that type.
I have lived thru a hellish nightmare such as this. I watched my husband literally die from his own mindset and damn near took me with him. I am just grateful to be here. It's been 10 months since I found his lifeless body. When I asked God for help that was not what I was expecting. I pretty much spend all my time in silence, just listening and healing from all the words and processing all that has transpired. I am just now starting to get a little energy back and come outta the fog. I truly believe my strong faith and commitment to self-development has been my saving grace. Amazing how much I now love and respect myself enough to let how I feel mean more to me than life itself. I choose LOVE, JOY and HAPPINESS! ALWAYS!! Perhaps that was what that journey was all about... Awesome article and spot on!!
This was great!
Juanita Ernest Wood
Shirley Adams Poole
Shirley Adams Poole
Shirley Adams Poole
Victoria - Read this (the whole thing)
Laurie Lankins Farley
"You have permission to walk away from anything that doesn’t feel right. Trust your instincts and listen to your inner-voice " what you wrote, really spoke to me and it is so very true! Thank you.
The reason we all say leave, is because we have learned the hard way from years of trying that you cannot help or change these toxic people. You must take care of yoursel! Get to a safe place, read all you can about abuse, and what it is. Start building yourself a beautiful life. Get therapy if you need it. Don’t waste your time or energy blaming anyone, don’t waste your time it energy being a victim, don’t waste your time or energy retelling your story over and over to anyone who will listen. Instead, read what healthy relationships are. Do fun activities that you enjoy. Make your living area beautiful. Learn something new. Learn how to take care of you. Learn healthy boundaries. Learn your strengths. Find a hobby. Find friends who are are good for you and you enjoy being around. Life really is good when you make these changes.
This article is SO VERY TRUE! If anyone reading this is in any of these kinds of toxic relationships, please, GET OUT AS SOON AS YOU CAN! Learn from all these testimonies! Things will keep getting worse until you really are physically or mentally sick, or worse, from all the abuse. The longer you wait, the harder things will get, and the harder it will be to leave. Don’t wait for a complete breakdown, or worse to happen. If you are showing any symptoms at all because of the stress, negativity, lies, manipulations, dramas, etc.....that is your proof that you need to get away from it!
So needed this! I have tried so hard all my life for my Mom to stop being judgemental & negative, but like the article she seems to feed off of it. She has hurt me so many times & worst now since my Dad has been gone over 8 years. And now she is hurting my daughters in the process! That was the last straw! She is a very religious person but I can't sit in Church knowing that this is a hypocrite! So sad!! I have so many years written letters, having conversation with her & nothing has changed. I love my Mom with all my heart & am thankful for everything she has done for me & my family, but the toxic is getting worst! So now I have taken a step back & start taking care of myself! So I can breathe easier & be a strong person again! Thank you for this message!
Thank you so much for sharing this article, it is just what I need and has truly helped me. This is the breakthrough I have been praying for, for years. I have been through a lifetime of hell, abuse, neglect , fears and doubts, worries and frustrations. I have grieved, lost family, lost children and my health has went downhill but through the power of God, he is restoring . This is not a easy journey, in fact it's complete opposite. Thanks and God bless
Thank you so much for sharing. Truly. I needed to hear again that I am worthy of the work I am doing. Because it's tough.
It is indeed a great article and I am not regretting what I have decided this past few days, to be free from abused people, to love myself and to have peace of mind. Finally, loving and thinking unconditional love to myself is the best happiness I have encountered this first quarter of this year. Thinking positive all through the year😊😊😊. Thank you so much and God bless us all.
Thank you ! I needed to read all of this is so true!
I prayed to god to give me a sign. He must have given me hundreds over the past 6 years, I just didn’t see them. Recently I asked him to show me even if I didn’t want to see. Then I read this article.
Thank you for being a messenger for me and others. I feel that everything will be ok! The first step is in fact the hardest - but once you take it is like a weight is lifted from your body!
I have been in this relationship for 15 years ..Never once has he asked for my hand in marriage ,he is a great guy in everyway except emotionally. He shows me no passion no love. He is mean with his words and hurts my lived once with his words.. I've been putting up with it for along time .Thinking u can change him if I just keep showing him I love him,, it only just started to change this year as I have been trying to focus on me.. I love him with all my being but it don't seem like enough ...I don't want to destroy him I believe he has love in his heart but he just don't know how to show it ... His childhood was bad.. what can I do ?? I feel I am no longer in love with him..
I really wonder why I was unlucky when it comes to love relationship with special someone. I'm not rich. I'm the only one raising the needs of my sons. I'm the only one sending my sons to school to pursue their chosen course in college. I'm lucky to have them in my life and i'm lucky because I have enough courage to face all the trials and problems coming in my life. But love and heart matters, I encountered money suckers the scammers. But thanks GOD, HE taught me how to handle this problem rightfully and I have the right mind to overcome this kind of problem. GOD bless us all.
i think that every one should take care of him self before thinking about others because happiness start with you when you worth your self and do kindness acts towards your self because i find that negative people and toxic ones don"t deserve to waste time with. They affected you with their negativity and steal your positive energy so, it's better to deny them and save your own life. thank you bryan for this amazing article.
I agree with you cause im going through it from since im young trying to get throught it up to now
Fabulous read, unfortunately I was in this situation for many many years... And believe me it does take its toll on you... I am getting better now I have been at deaths door a few times and all because I wouldn't STOP... Sit down listen to my mind body and soul.... I just carried on till I just couldn't get back up ... It's taken me over 9. Years to realise and I am not back on my feet yet ... The very first sign of weakness and tired... Is a sign to stop .. Not drag yourself around picking other people up... Who don't appreciate, won't help themselves... And most importantly hurt and disrespect you... You are number one ... Take care of yourselves...
There might b truth . We have been used by every member of both sides of our family . I am a woman with a loss of the use of one leg, this was caused by a supervisors choice to break the rules now with little compensation, we have gave till nothing was left then on a promise of payback. There was no payback and the most of them died. Tell me how to take care of myself? Easier said than done when nobody cares. What now?
Fatima Shahnaz Ahmad
Same applies. You MUST apply boundaries. It WILL take a terrible toll on you if you don't. Negativity is what some people fuel themselves with. You don't have to.
Fatima Shahnaz Ahmad
I loved EVERY.SINGLE.WORD of this! EVERY word is true! I remember being "there" and finding your words in sync with my situation. I remember feeling completely drained and just waiting for death to take me because I was mentally and physically WIPED OUT no matter how much I WAS taking care of myself! I recently made and shared a poster about this... "Life does not suck... It's the people you surround yourself with that suck the LIFE out of you!" I swear that before I realized this, I ALWAYS thought I was the problem by not loving hard enough on people (and I love HARD!). Every single day was a new drama and more added stress, with me looking like the crazy one as they would sit back and laugh. It got so tiring chasing people who would never be happy. I was physically and mentally in pain and tests showed nothing, leaving doctors baffled until one doc asked if I was stressed and what was I stressed about. THAT'S when my eyes, mind and heart FINALLY saw it! I was not the problem... but I WAS a part of it. That saying that you continue what you allow... was me being part of the problem and it was taking a bad toll on ME! Those people were happy and healthy and I even remember saying out loud, "I'm going to die young and they'll live into the hundreds." My GOD! That is so sad to think about as I write. But that was the moment I made pure intentions to stand up for myself and begged God to have my back. Almost EVERY DAY I would pray for strength to stand up against evil.... EVERY.SINGLE.DAY! And let me tell you this, by the time the perfect time came, BOY was I standing firm as the storm took place! And nothing has been the same ever since (except for those people stuck in their same old ways!)... I am working on becoming a better me every single day. I have realized that if we lack self worth, we also lack self love and respect and we let people treat us as miserable as we feel. We are the only ones who can change our situations. It's so true that you attract what you vibe and when I started on this journey of self worth and self improvement, I found my tribe at BeRoyal.com and life has become and continues to get only better. It is no less than truth for me that BeRoyal is a piece of heaven on earth and I'm one of the dwellers. I could go on and on and on. I can't stress hard enough on how self love is important. I preach it EVERY DAY and to ANYONE and EVERYONE who will listen (or not!). I'll just end with... Love yourself... Put up them boundaries no matter what people think... Be true to you... Keep on bettering you.
P.S. I have NEVER felt as alive as I do now... after I distanced myself from toxic people and found my people. EXTREMELY BLESSED and GRATEFUL.🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
This artical is so true , but what if it is a family member
A daughter or a sister :( . That is the situation I'm in 💔
This is so true Bryant. In my experiences, I have coped to their needs based on their own trauma, insted of fight and flight fear, I have accually in my work with both children with Ani social problems, and grown people with cluster tendencis, had a strategy to work hard with pro-socialdevelopment and socialoriented leadership, even if i was not the boss at work. I created a leadership based on my own knowledge, my own history of a narcisssistic family, and my adultperspective to work with values and integrity and teach others of their own development to have a solid selfasteem. To cope with difficult people, we have to stop projecting with our emotions, and insted have our boundaries and adultperspective, and be calm with low affective behavior. To be objective and grounded in reality, because most of clusters are beond the reality over social ruels and responsibility. They often live in their mind in illusions, so if we are in the reality over our social interaction based on mentalizing empathy, sequrity and opend communication, conflictmanagement based on targeting the situation, insted of targeting people, we create structure based on common responsibility and separate the person and the cause. The passive/aggressive behavior can we create to Map their own emotions and needs, which make them communicate better in a balanced way, and then we work with communication insted of fear, anxiety or fight and flight mode. My father is a codependent person who are very selfdestructive and dysfunctional. But insted of fleeeing his behavior, we exercise new experiences with eachother in a cognitive way of both express our own emotions and needs, logical reson and also with references of knowledge and understanding. We also work to better understand ourselves and cope with empathy, where i learn in one objective way for him to mentalize empathy, and also give him the knowledge over his own behavior. Even if he is still brainwashed by my destructive mother, and scapegoat me, Iam not emotional wounded because of my knowledge and understanding. I never project his shortcomes or limitations or destructive low selfasteem. I try to create sequrity and firm and calm realistic reality over his illusional outcomes, that today for me without trauma, can relate to it, that it is just nonsense and not confirmed in reality. He begin to be inspired even if he is still in his own outcomes, because the reality and sequrity is not for me, it is for him and his own sequrity after years of his own trauma and condependent relationship and his own childhood over my abusive granfather, who was the same as my mother. With love and support! Lina Sjöberg Healthpedagogy in Healthscience and Rehabilitationscience.
I posted this 3 years ago when I needed it ... crazy
Indeed, if something wrong happens to our lifes we have to see it straight into our eyes and cope with it. Sometimes, things are getting more complicated! When one has been married with one person for more than 20 years things are hell more difficult. You always put yourself on hold. Thinking that things will change!! But they won't. Then you have to take some serious steps, you have to disengage yourself from an abusive relationship mentally and emotionally!! You have to move on!! How? your inner voice screams. By taking one step at a time is the answer because if you don't then you will be dragged into a hellish world. Sometimes you get paralysed by your fear of being alone!! But one has to overcome this fear and face it. One may have to start from the scratch but that's fine. One will find the courage and the strength to move on. No matter how things are you have to believe that you cannot save everyone but yourself. Thank you Bryant for this beautiful article and the opportunity you gave me to share my thoughts.
Catherine B. Roy
Brilliant! This article is such a spot on! It is so true! Evert single word is true. We need to understand this and even when we do it will be hard to let go. But when we finally let go, we will feel free! Thank you, Bryant!
This article is spot on, giving a very true picture of what kind or groups of people to walk, make that sprint from, and leave behind. Even family. My parent was emotionally abusive, with cutting words and transplanting "their" guilt onto me, making me responsible as a young child for their happiness. They created a subservient mindset in me as child & teenager, which led me to make errors of judgement which i own for myself.
I married, thats right, someone needing to be kept "happy". I had beautiful children but left with my kids, a bike and a budgie, to start a new life.
The trauma of childhood and a difficult marriage caught up with me and i had a major breakdown and ill health. My doctor often said i was trying to be two parents and your heading for a breakdown, and i'd answer, i'm to busy now, i'll have it later. Well i did once my kids were self surficient .. clinical depression, panic attacks, anxiety, blanking out.. and my immune system got up and left. I in following years have found my feet to be myself. Of course i give credit to professional support which was wonderful. I also renewed my faith in God which was not a crutch as some would suppose, but added to my renewal of spirit.
Run, sprint, leave.
I left a large four bed home overlooking the ocean but i had peace and so did my children. Run.
Wow. This is so good. Wild! Just posted a video on beroyal.com introducing a friend and we are talking about this. She has a life threatening illness and is choosing who stays and who goes. Energetic choices are cumulative and can add or subtract your healthy happy years. You are right. It is 100% real. Thank you! Sharing!
Thanks to you amazing healers, I just experienced a déjà vu moment!!! There was,and still is great abuse and torture in this world!! I have been bullied numerous times in my life and also been rejected in the most inhuman ways. I cried many times, wanted to commit suicide, but a very forceful energy from above, kept insisting that all God’s creations are worthy and beautiful, because after all we are all created in his image!!! We are all his children and he loves us all equally!!! I realized that if I reversed all that hurt into positivity, I would definitely become an Olympic Champion of control. I reversed my energy, by saying that every negative experience has built my shield more stronger. When I found my worth being, everything changed, great things were happening out of nowhere. They say silence is a virtue and whenever I am confronted with a negative situation I use silence and walk away most times. I will have to admit that other times I loose my control and give them satisfaction. Working on my shield every day, gives me great hope that one day it will be unbreakable!!! Thank you so much for making me release my pain, because now I feel like I am in Seventh Heaven!!!!
I have spent most of my life trying to make others happy . In reading the Bible I found the story of the 10 Virgins . In this I learned that I have to take care of myself first and when I can help others, the there is the story of the gl.of milk .. this if have found to be my answer on when and how to help . I also don't look to blame others of my faults. I don't like drama so when someone trys to being drama in my life and it dose not stop I block them . As we all have dreams as to how we would like our lives to be ,I will do what I can to follow my heart and make this happen. I have don't know what being happy in life feels like , but I am on my journey to finding this . I have trusted people in so many ways and I have been hurt each time , but o allowed this . I don't any longer . It's hard to say no , but after some time I have learned when it's ok to help and when I can't. If ever in doubt I take it to God on prayer ..
Oops excuse my spelling ! Its early cant find my glasses at 6am lol
Thoroughly Enjoyed this article 👍
What I read is so very very blatantly true. I’ve freed myself from negativity, toxic people. Yes it hurt me inside tremendously. But nothing like the detriment if I didn’t walk away. I did literally walk away from two persons. One of which chooses the life of addictions. Heroine and meth mixed. Not caring about anyone or anything except for the next fix or hit. Audios see ya. Not my way. Not my life, not my bullshit. I left 2 Recovery books behind with kindness in my heart.
I’m a recovering alcoholic/addict. This month I’ll celebrate 12 years of sobriety. To me it matters. In order to have beautifulness and positivity inside. I had to be willing to look at ALL of me. That’s a must to rid the negativity that holds me back. The hurt, Resentments, jealousy, sexuality, etcetera. I have to amend all that I can. Without harm or ill intent to anyone ever. (Them or others. Others means me.) Y’all have heard the phrase. “Is the cup half full? Or is the cup half empty?"
It’s neither. It’s being grateful that you have a cup. Because there are those that don’t. It’s taking a lot of hard work, tears, and joy to learn it’s worth it to be okay, to share and BE HAPPY. Thank you.
Great article and very profound words love Les Brown hes the man !
I always think do people sap my energy or Zap it ?! I love meeting people who are Zappers they are natural healers , sappers are cancers that can make us ill
Thoroughly enjoyed this article best i have read in a long Time ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
I learned the term “trauma bond” from my therapist. I have lived the life of going back to the same toxic person, sometimes under the guise of rescue for her and my children. I became addicted to the cat and mouse game. I bounced back and forth from heel to hero. I found out that there is no in between. I was the best or the worst. I have separated myself from the toxicity once again and this article hits my situation right on the head. I need to save myself. Thank you
It’s almost as if you have been in my head for sometime now. Reading my mind as if I told you everything that has happened to me the last 45 years of marriage. How is this possible? I just have to say thank you for caring and some how knowing I have been in this nightmare for so long. I haven’t left yet but soon. Thank you for saving what life I have left. Maybe I can be happy.
This article hit home to my heart and I can definitely relate to having people suck the life outta me with all their negative criticism and lack of encouragement thru the years but just last week I made the decision to put a stop to these blood sucking vampires and move forward with my life by believing in myself. I remember an old Nike commercial that said " Just Do It ! So that's what I'm doing without anymore self doubt or lack of confidence in myself and most importantly I'm trusting God with childlike faith cause faith moves mountains when you believe. I wanna encourage those of you who have had people suck the life outta you in the past as well as the present to put a stop to it now before it drains you emotionally which leads to stress which if left unchecked will kill you eventually. Start believing in God and what He wants to do in your life and believe in yourself also. If you can look up then you can get up. Be like the Nike commercial : Just Do It ! Set some goals for your life and make up your mind you're gonna accomplish them come what may ! Remember : You're not a loser if you don't give up and quit and remember that " Failure is not an option "
I find this whole article to Be so close to home. The very words printed are what I talk to my Therapist about write in my journal about and say out loud to myself. I started getting physically sick about 4 years ago with panic attacks, isolation, to a pulmonary embolism and DVT to absolute depression and a mood disorder by staying with a man who was abandoned by his birth mother and treated badly by his foster mother and cheated on by every women he'd ever been with. A cunning man who helps ALOT of people ,self employed and comfortable with great traits untill the power and control started . Management of money , lack of giving money, lack of food , lack of help after hospitalization's , lack of acknowledgement after helping to save his b uisness after putting my life on the line , no empathy, no fulfillment eventually no touching , no expression and NEVER communication. I'm now in trouble with the law and have all kinds of health problems. With no way out. If you have a chance to call home or call a friend or can up & leave PLEASE GO NOW!! Or you will end up in the deepest darkest hole you've ever known!! Before you leave friends and important relationships behind , before you can't get back to work to support yourself , BEFORE YOU GET TOOO SUCKED IN...
GO & GO NOW!!!!
This article is what I needed to understand what has been going on. I always supported my family, took care of my Mom and Grandma with not much help from them. They would always leave me out, take my Dad away to manipulate him, drinking with him, and act like I was crazy if I said anything. They stole money, my moms beautiful things and acted like it was my Dads decision, he wanted them to have it. When Dad was ill they tried to get me removed from being the executor. I know know it is all control. As much as I have loved them, I realize that they are master manipulators and only make you think they care for you. Behind your back they have called me crazy, mentally ill, etc. I finally have had enough and choose not to allow them in my life anymore, but sadly they influence my own daughter. Sad situation, but I must keep them out of my life.
Such an excellent topic, in the point and at the right moment. Most of the time, It’s so painful to let it go, and so difficult to identify all those negative individuals. But it’s not impossible, because once we identify how negatively such individuals are affecting our life, body and spirit. The healing process will start to improve our health, spirit and mind by bringing into our personal life the right people and the best moments to keep ourselves growing and grounded! ✨
Thank you . I really needed to see this .
Thank you very much Jenni and. Bryant. I know that I have been drain out.But when I read this article. I learn to take care of myself. I have been with so walking with negative spirited people. Sometimes we need to let go from some people. And i need to to do just that. Thanks Jenni &Bryant ❤Always.
Sadly, I am all too familiar with how the stress of toxic relationships can harm your health in every way. I have struggled with family toxicity from the time I can remember. I allowed it for so long praying that each effort and promise would be a new change and move toward having the family I prayed for. However, with a recent experience, I have now seen what God has been trying to show me for a long time. And that is I cannot produce the change them and I have seen over and over again they feel entitled and never wrong and continue the same behaviors. I love them and always will, however, it is more important than ever that I take care of me and stop putting my hopes in their changing and treating me with respect and love. It is so difficult when it is people you love deeply, but love should not keep hurting over and over again and if they loved you they wouldn't want to hurt you. I think in my case and what I see is that they hate themselves for not living up to their potential and I became their punching bag and they resented me for despite the challenges in my life my faith in God and hard work I kept growing as a person toward allowing God to move me toward being the woman he created me to be. For this to continue I must unplug from the damage I have allowed toxic people to do in my life for way too long. Unplug now and know that people who truly love themselves and their lives will not reach out to destroy you and yours.
As I am going through a breakup with a narcissist...it’s painful watching him pack up to go even though it’s my choice. This article came when I needed it most. In his eyes he’s never wrong, it’s always me, every little thing turns into a huge fight, I can’t even try to have Any discussion as he talks over me, or responds with an entirely different topic! Although, I love him for his sweet side, I’m tired of this cycle repeating. I deserve happiness and I so want it! With some time and devotion to myself and my faith, I’ll be fine!
Please forgive my misspelling. A bit nervous while typing my comment.
I often wonder at the lessons I have learned after walking away from toxic people- I feel blessed by the strength I have had to utilize in order to grow- yet further on down the road . .. I was able to help others..
I'm glad over come across this article. It's so straight forward and all so true. Unfortunately trying to walk away from the negative had been hard for me. I even tried against my life 3 times, yet God still has me here and with the person who's been toxic to my life, my father. So many years of pain, sorrow, nowhere to go and having to witness it all, I became I'll. Now leaving with health issues, it's not easy to work nor maintain an active life. But with God all things are possible. I give Him all three glory because without Him, I won't be here tonight. I've learned to let go and let God. To pray for patience and how to deal with my negative surroundings. Nothing nor anyone is perfect but how I deal with it, my mannerisms, my actions, it's how others see me. Not saying that I won't defend myself but leaving it all in the hands of Almighty God, it's the best remedy there is. Dealing with toxic people is Not easy but how we deal with the situation will make us stronger or defeat us.
I need advice for my son Matthew, he refuses to look for work all he wants to do is sit on the computer and play games
This was just my answer I moved back home to help my daughter and my grandchildren . But I just can't do it anymore she is too stressful to me she is ungrateful selfish. I have another daughter and we both work we are planning the great escape to get a home together away from my other daughter before we go nuts. Thank you so my my prayers have been answered. I love you guys .
One of the saddest things about kids like these is that only when you're gone from this world will they realize your worth! 😢
So TRUE amen
Shane Pitt worth the read Xo
Yes true my love ❤️
Yvonne Cowley Plunk
I agree 100%
THATS THE HONOUST TRUTH.HELPING THE ONCE THAT WANT 2 BE HELPED OTHERWISE EVRYTHING U TRY WILL BE IN THE END 4 NOTING AND THAN ITS A WAIST OF PRECIOUS TIME.REMEMBER LIFE BEGINS WITH U,LIKE U HAVE 2 LOVE URSELF FOR OTHERS 2 LOVE U.SO DO THE RIGHT THING BY MAKING THE RIGHT CHOICES AND DONT DO 2 OTHERS THAT U DONT WANT 2 HAPPEN 2 U
Rae Cope Carier
I know, but its hard to stop help...
That is a very true statement, sad but true
Judy Biscoglia Lucido
It's so true
Wow. Profound. Healing.
This is absolutely correct. I’m done in my life of allowing a leach to make All withdrawals and Not even a 5% deposit. This sounds like just talk but this can be destruction to no return. I don’t care how you look, how wealthy you are I will NEVER allow the enemy to get a foothold in my being and bring me to an empty account again. It’s demoralizing to say the least. But if you are alive you can make it but AWAY from the ones responsible. And this leach wasn’t taking money from me he was taking my substance.
I really needed to see this right now...
Margaret Noll amen but now my one son has been out on the streets now 2 days back to getting high all I can do is pray for him and be there for him if he survives at this time
Alta Karen Johnson
Bryant,your post speaks volumes,so True!! When dealing with Narcissistic folks they will drown you in the name of love if you dont wake up so glad,thankful I have!
Kellie Lindesmith agree as long as you are not enabling.
Sometime even Jesus let's us fall into our mess to teach us lest we would do it over and over. God loves us through everything UNCONDITIONALLY, BUT there are consequences to everything we do. Some good,some bad. You don't stand in front of a semi going 80 MPH and ask God to save you from it hitting you. Sometimes you have to move and God will Bless your effort. Sometimes LOVING people means not helping them,but praying for them. A baby never learns to walk on their own if you carry them everywhere. They have to try to walk with you closely by until they master walking. God is ever close to us but He doesn't control us,and there are consequences to everything we do! Kathy Peppers
Yes they do my sister a pathological liar
excellent analysis. I agree.
Been there. Done that. More than once I might add. No regrets at all
Dina Tongai Dins
I appreciate these words because sometimes when the mind and the soul beside faith unite or meet in the heart you can feel them and what is called magic can come.I don't know what to say more.they re just true and simple.about me is something else.
Andreas De Bosschere
Liked it, so agree the mosr with Mary-An.
AMEN Sister Kathy Peppers
People you got to start praying for your children you got to demand that the devil gets her hands off of your child this is a spiritual battle this is why they are being struck with drugs alcohol disobedience this is a fight for your children's lives my children will serve the Lord no weapon formed against my boys will even come close to them they will know Jesus as their personal savior what the devil meant for them to die and the destruction of their drug addiction God has turned him around and they will serve the Lord Jesus Christ we can speak life or we can speak death over our children and our families and I choose to Speak Life no we cannot save our children but we can be in the spiritual battle for them and stand in that Gap regardless Jesus says to love the unlovable and that means our children because when they are in this addiction they are unlovable but you got to love them you stay on your knees until you see change I praise the Lord Jesus Christ that all three of my boys are cleaned today yes ones in prison but he's clean and the Lord is working on him I have two others and the Lord is working with them both I will see my children serve the Lord before I leave this earth Jesus did not tell us nor promised us that our walk with him was going to be easy that if we stay close to him our burdens will not be so hard I thank you Jesus for loving me thank you for loving my children and I ask that you be with each one that has troubled kids that are into drugs alcohol that you speak to their hearts father and that you love on them where they're at thank you Jesus
I'm going to give you an example I had three sons that were full-blown heroin addicts and yes they suck the life out of me that I also got a message that God never gave up on me I didn't no longer practice the tough love because those people that are lost already feel no hope that nobody cares and nobody loves them so I changed my attitude and my ways and I love them for who they were I never enabled but I also was there to help I praise the Lord that they are clean today some people think being tough love is the correct way and it isn't you truly have to love the unlovable and you can only do that through Jesus
Lenora Tague Brandoli
My husband was a first responder and firefighter for over 30 years. He suffered horribly from PTSD. The last few times he responded to a fatal car accident, he would see one of our children as the deceased. That's when he decided to get help. He found a therapist that performed EMDR. By tapping on his hand able he relived the event, he was able to retrain the brain to have a new response. It truly helped him.
So so so true
So true sis!
I totally agree
Very very true.
It really works. So much happier cleaning out certain people.
Truth with a Master's Degree!!!
Jayanta Saha Roy
True ! right ! justified !!!
Christine Mc Collum
This is truth..yet we cannot always do this..especially if children are involved.so many families are seperated..co parenting..step parenting.i watch my daughter struggle with a self absorbed mother ..it makes me so angry for her and her fiancé..and for the children.she has to face this with a smile to keep peace..sucks
Correct my dear sis in Christ Soc Bulos regards to ur family
This is so true . Thanks for posting.
Gary Sunshine-Tervit this is my exact reasoning about you know who and why I don’t want anything to do with her anymore. Zero effort to change
Yes some times the choice is made for us. Your told their not intrested, they want no communication, oh until they change their mind of course. or they just want your money, an keep asking for more an more, until you have no more. Then your treated as you have no value, your told to be out in four hours. But God has you, his always had you. Then you realize it all turned into your greatest blessings. With the clearest understanding. I learned i can only work on changing me, i can only try my hardest to be an do what Jesus would want from me. I am in awe, i am so free in my spirit. I will keep my boundaries now. I had to learn to live with out them. Years, i learned now. Thank you Jesus. I ll never go back, i ll stay on the narrow path now.
Rosalia Basco Mapacpac
Merlyn Diric Pitpit Adatan
Pray for them also!!
I agree with the above comments on letting go of toxic people in one's life.
Mike Eadie xoxo
Joash Stephen Rupisan
This is pretty much where I'm at now.
Rochelle Renee Gardner
yes. so true
This is amazing
Sherry Lee Massie
Anna E. Rogalski
I couldn’t agree more.
Seeing you yesterday Was so much harder than I ever imagined. I’m send you love and light in your difficult times. I thank you from the bottom my heart for you to have spoke to me. Who knew just a few hours together would be such good medicine for the both of us. They say through the life you meet a magical character, the one that brings you in the lite, two One that you will never forget, three they leave behind the words that live inside you forever. I love you Anna ❤️. After all these years our paths have crossed for a reason. I believe those very reasons are is that we care and love so much for each other. See you soon my love #cancersucks
Anna E. Rogalski
I shared this previously and it applies still to this day.
Maria Catherine Pungur Farrell
thanks my love ❤️ ❤️
Maria Catherine Pungur Farrell this popped up on my newsfeed but this is perfect for u! ❤️
I see it in my own life, it's happening 2 me n he's doing it.God has other plans, he doesn't know that
I need to start practicing this
I see your point Jeff, but if that other person beats you down, belittles, saps your energy, takes more then they give or otherwise breaks your spirit they are toxic to you. They are free to hold their beliefs. You are free to walk away.
What is Toxic? Millions of people believe entitlements are destroying America, however millions are saying, be kind, invite all the world here, let's cuddy and care. Millions of People believe God is the ultimate belief, Millions belief science has proved creation is from the big bang. Millions of people believe, church, honor, family is life, millions of others believe let you life and beliefs expand and become the best you can. Toxic? Is it your comfort zone, is it how you were taught, brought up, and your beliefs...but wait others were brought up differently, who is to say they are wrong. You use to believe in the EPA saying paint is safe, then we found out it was full of lead, and probably killed some of our favorite Aunts n Uncles we loved. Or we have been programed to our government is honest and have our best interest in mind, however the steal and borrow all the social security funds, and spend it, and now say it is an entitlement we can afford to keep funded. Toxic, a mom or dad, believe in a home, pay bills and keep quiet...enjoy and live life...however other parents, moms n dad's promote their kids to become leaders, take chances, file bankruptcy and eventually become the owner of Champion Spark Plug, or the Anderson's in Toledo Ohio. Toxic is probably a personal belief that they don't think the way you think...this topic can be so, so expanded from the original post...I just feel, Toxic could be, exploited to, "what each of us want"...
Hilton Dale Thacker
Jacqueline Denise Hayes
This article really, really brought up some painful but true issues for me. It's extremely hard to draw the line or separate yourself when it's parents, children or siblings.
Jacqueline Denise Hayes
The hardest separation thing I've ever had to deal with is accepting that I needed to put space between myself and my children. I had to be mother, father, provider, disciplinarian, cheerleader. I've got to rediscover myself again.
We see Trump, we hear Trump, we read his incessant maniacal Tweets. He rants, he raves, he belttles, he lies, he cries, and moans and calls everyone fake or liars that defy him. He has always been this way. Read the bios on him. Listen to his own biographer. He is such a sad pathetic excuse of a man.
I see myself in here! But I still hope to do this life thing right
True facts . Don't put up with this . Thanks
By being realistic and making your own decisions and not being miserable by others making them for you. Life changes when you make it happen. Be merry not miserable. And..
ask for help if you need it.
Three years on.. and I'm free
Sharing with love ❤️
Learnt this lesson late in my life. I was married to a narcissist for 20years. My adult daughters have adopted their father's traits. Decided to cut them out of my life. Surrounding myself with people who add value to my life now. Much happier and fulfilled. Thanks for your post.
Raji Chahal Gill Rajvir Chahal Kiran Deol
Yes the Bible does say stay clear of fools and Liar's etc etc and that is so true and family family members expecting for the parents to do the unexpectable and some parents fall prey two drug dealers white drug addicts in the family you can't help them cuz they don't want to help themselves so the other children in the family fall at the Wayside you can't say anything because some others going to Protec the wounded and out and put themselves in the situation in first place and I hate because that's what's going on in my family I can't hear my mother like I want to because her mind is on the crabs is what I call her no room for the others really want to help her so we don't help her
Pergee Kelly this is so good!!
Carol Buswink Patten
Carol Buswink Patten
Julie Pritchard Kelly Quinn Wadle Sue Osborn Eric Osborne Sharon Brown Osborne Amanda Blocker Reiss Justin Reiss Tarika Kai Lea
........ AND THEN YOU DIE!
I have a son that I love so much but he is killing me.The only fights my husband and I have is because I'm always taking up for him.Its my husbands step son but he raised him,He is 32 the problem I have is my three grandchildren I always give him money because I'm scared of my grandkids don't have the things they need. I wish I knew what to do.He is a drug addict but he can stay clean sometimes.
THANK YOU SISTER....I LOVE YOU SO MUCH 💝💝💝
Shirley Shirley Gardner
This is so true.
Read More Comments