# Toxic AF In 2020 data loss recovery process... ![[resources/images/book-cover-toxic-af.png]] ## Broken people often demand from others, what they cannot summon from within +{{Uneasiness and suffering spills out on everyone around the wounded soul who cannot see themselves.}} What they have not observed, accepted, and healed within themselves infects everyone they meet. Their instability shakes every encounter with uneasiness. Their desperate longing for meaningful contact and peace, is steadily amplified by their unconscious and ill-mannered quarks of petty drama, or neglect. {{Broken people often demand from others, what they cannot summon from within.}} {{Many wounded people who cannot be at peace with themselves, force the people around them to walk on eggshells to create the illusion of calm they demand.}} The cost of their feigned composure of phony harmony, is your peaceful state of mind. Their state of ease in a room, is only equal to everyone else's state of unease. They obliviously belly laugh, while others heart palpitate. They smile, while you grit your teeth. They exhale in satisfaction, as your diaphragm flutters with anxiety. They ingratiate themselves into your deepest bonds of dependency, where you are more like a hostage than a friend, because you fear their meltdown should their affection go unrequited. The commotion they create in your life is like a toxic and confusing haze of crossed boundaries, broken trust, and endless disappointments. They are often mostly unaware of the energetic load and burden they place on others. The truth is, they cannot help themselves; they are sick, and need professional help. +Some people's problems are more than you can bare, and without proper boundaries, in time, these people will wear you down to a frazzle. Your hope and optimism is no match for their bottomless pit. Your pep-talks and quick fixes are no match for the endless self-destruction loop running in their minds. You can give them compassion, but they will settle for nothing less than your destruction. If they don't get help, you're the one who will soon need it. Their unresolved traumas will seep in, as your trauma. Their wounds, will become your wounds. Their madness slowly becomes your madness. If you will honestly look in the mirror at the stress on your face, and in your eyes, you will see what they are doing to you. They are remaking you into their likeness; a terrorized person, who is desperate for peace. ## Everyone goes through hell, but not everyone stays there +{{Everyone goes through hell, but not everyone stays there. Stop tormenting yourself by reliving the pain over and over.}} {{Good people go through terrible things, but wise people know when and how to let it go.}} We all know that wisdom does not come easy, it often comes from painful experience. {{Many of us are very unwise in how we handle our pain. Like an animal that struggles in a steel trap, we worsen our wounds the way we struggle, deny, and fight against what simply, is.}} {{When we refuse to learn the wisdom of acceptance, we become our own tormentors.}} {{When we refuse to let go we suffer, yet we cannot let go of something until it has taught us what we need to learn.}} {{Letting go is a process of recognition, confrontation, acceptance, and healing.}} {{Letting go simply means not suffering any more than absolutely necessary, but just enough to expand and strengthen ourselves.}} {{Some suffering is needed to deepen our compassion, to grow, and to learn. Letting go means you have learned enough, and now have compassion for yourself.}} Letting go means not touching that sore spot until it is infected, and instead letting it heal. {{Letting go means carrying a permanent scar, but not a permanent wound.}} {{Letting go means you may have walked through hell, but came out the other side ready to make your life a heaven.}} {{Letting go means you refuse to be a victim forever, by letting one moment define the rest of your life.}} {{Letting go means you accept change, and you accept that your pain is not permanent.}} {{Letting go means you accept that you cannot take away the past, but you insist that the past cannot take away your future.}} {{Letting go means you are ready to move forward and live.}} {{Letting go means you are no longer afraid. It was always fear that held you prisoner; letting go means you are finally free.}} ## Sometimes letting go is the only way to survive +{{Some people love to relive their pain; they are perpetual victims — self-abusing, emotional-drama junkies.}} They are always fanning into flames every little spark. Some people are addicted to the trauma of the drama; their *raison d'etre* is the daily struggle against their own created turmoil. The struggle in life is their stagecraft, where the people around them become unwitting performers in their dramatic scenes. C{For some, c{risis is their sensation of being alive; spectacle is their excitement and proof of life.}} {{In absence of true passion and purpose, some people engage in the dark surrogate of petty commotion and drama.}} These {Some {people do not want to let go and move on, because they need to struggle and destroy, to live.}} {{Blame is their getaway vehicle they use to flee the scenes of their emotional crimes.}} The pain they carry within themselves is flung and strewn on everyone they encounter; contaminating every peaceful moment with spots of uneasiness and discord. They are raging against themselves. They {Some people {fight outward enemies because they are afraid to confront the enemy within.}} They {There {are deeply wounded people, who can be very dangerous to your peace of mind, your family, and your life. Like a wounded animal, they will bite your hand of comfort.}} They {Some people {will suck you into their hellish world if you let them. They will keep you there forever, for drama after drama, as their emotional support — as their prisoner.}} It will never end; every molehill made into a mountain of problems — mountains of madness. When you find yourself hanging off the cliff, with someone about to pull you over the edge, you have to cut the rope. {{Sometimes letting go of someone is the only way to survive.}}