There are natural phases to all life, and wherever you are in life, you are perfectly becoming. Your pain and struggles only serve to remind you that you are alive. Accepting our pain is a way to say we treasure the sacred gift of life — run to your pain. Pain does not define us, neither does joy; our deepest definition is independent of our experiences. You are the observer who watches your emotions as they push, pull and stretch you. The beauty inside of you is unmovable. Your deepest and most truthful self does not care about trends, times, struggles, losses or worries. Your deepest self is free from the world's petty, made-up demands, judgments, and expectations. You love yourself, and you are happy, and what you perceive as self-loathing and misery are really outside of you. Quit trying so hard. Sit quietly with yourself and you will see that there are no demands within you. Only your surface is disturbed; in your deepness there is stillness and total tranquility. Only your surface feels empty and longing; in your depths there is a firm weight of fullness.