passages-raider-gets-everything-belonging-usually-soldiers

# What the raider gets is everything an animal has... > What the raider gets is everything an animal has ever wanted from a coalition. Protection, because a parent with no allies cannot retaliate. Validation, because a story believed by the whole family becomes the family's history. Control of access, to the children, the grandchildren, the holidays, the information, the money, the house where everyone gathers. Rank, because the animal at the center of the narrative is the animal the rest now orient toward. And immunity, because the target loses precisely the people whose presence would have made attacking or excluding the target expensive. Children are the first taken because they are the cheapest to take: a child's whole survival ran through dependency on the adults now in conflict, a child cannot audit the story against the decades before its own memory begins, a child receives belonging for agreeing and exile for doubting, and a child who has adopted the account will sincerely experience it as their own judgment, which is what makes the capture permanent. {{Coalition capture requires no hypnotized child and no scheming villain. It requires repeated information, dependency, loyalty pressure and a field that rewards one belief and punishes the other, and every family has all four.}} The excluded parent then spends years arguing evidence while misunderstanding the transaction, because the dispute stopped being about what happened the moment other relatives began collecting social rewards for believing one account and paying social costs for entertaining the other. {{Once a conflict becomes a coalition, facts have to compete with belonging. Belonging usually has more soldiers.}} **Source:** [[books/Chimping Out|Chimping Out]] ## Share on Social Media ``` “What the raider gets is everything an animal has ever wanted from a coalition. Protection, because a parent with no allies cannot retaliate. Validation, because a story believed by the whole family becomes the family's history. Control of access, to the children, the grandchildren, the holidays, the information, the money, the house where everyone gathers. Rank, because the animal at the center of the narrative is the animal the rest now orient toward. And immunity, because the target loses precisely the people whose presence would have made attacking or excluding the target expensive. Children are the first taken because they are the cheapest to take: a child's whole survival ran through dependency on the adults now in conflict, a child cannot audit the story against the decades before its own memory begins, a child receives belonging for agreeing and exile for doubting, and a child who has adopted the account will sincerely experience it as their own judgment, which is what makes the capture permanent. Coalition capture requires no hypnotized child and no scheming villain. It requires repeated information, dependency, loyalty pressure and a field that rewards one belief and punishes the other, and every family has all four. The excluded parent then spends years arguing evidence while misunderstanding the transaction, because the dispute stopped being about what happened the moment other relatives began collecting social rewards for believing one account and paying social costs for entertaining the other. Once a conflict becomes a coalition, facts have to compete with belonging. Belonging usually has more soldiers.” — Bryant McGill https://bryantmcgill.com/passages/passages-raider-gets-everything-belonging-usually-soldiers ```