Be selfish in your forgiving. Forgive for yourself and for the peace it will bring to your pain. Forgiveness has very little to do with the other person. Forgiveness is about your peace of mind. When you don't forgive, you are the one who suffers. When we refuse to forgive someone, we deeply jeopardize our own well-being. When we condemn others we condemn ourselves. When we judge and agonize over another's faults, we become attached to their imbalance and sickness. When we hold-on to someone's imperfections we become emotionally pair-bonded to their maladies. At a deeper level, when we constantly meditate on another's faults, it may be because we are neglecting our own unhealed wounds.