# 2019-02-25 - Bryant and the Eight Ball Cane in San Antonio > [!note] Photo Journey No. 1 > Buckle up, buttercup... 🎱 The first published entry in [[photo journey/welcome|Photo Journey]], published October 17, 2026. They say a picture is worth a thousand words; with 250,000 pictures, this is the first of many to come.  *Bryant, near the Alamo Quarry Market in San Antonio, Texas, on a Monday afternoon in late February 2019. In gold-rimmed sunglasses, a periwinkle blazer and a red patterned shirt, he stands by a brick wall in an open doorway, pointing with a sly half smile at the black eight ball handle of a cane.* ## Reflections The black eight ball on the head of that cane was a better emblem of the years ahead (and that had been creeping up on me from behind) than I knew when I pointed at it for the camera. Life has a way of leaving us behind the eight ball, and I had no idea how many tricksters and screwballs were waiting around the edges of the table, studying the angles and calculating which shot would leave me with nowhere to go. I had always thought of myself as someone who could ride the edge, surf the big waves, and come up laughing, and that confidence was earned; it had carried me through more storms than I can count. What it could never measure was how deep the water ran beneath certain people, and I badly underestimated how depraved and destructive some human beings can be. {{Reading the waves well is a different skill from reading the current beneath them.}} Teaching boundaries and keeping them turned out to be two very different disciplines. For years I sat in front of a camera and talked about protecting your energy and keeping toxic people out of your life, and somehow I still opened the door and invited them right in, past every principle I had spent so long explaining to everyone else. I was right about one thing in those broadcasts, and I have the scars to prove it: {{When you invite a wrecking crew into your life, they are going to wreck it.}} So much for listening to my own advice. Advice spoken into a microphone becomes wisdom only when it is practiced at the front door. > [!quote]- Original dictation > I never knew how much of an eight ball life could be, or how many tricksters and screwballs there were in the world. I always thought I was good at riding the edge, surfing the big waves. I really underestimated how depraved and destructive some people can be. > > It's amazing that I talked for so long about having boundaries and keeping toxic people out of your life, and then somehow I invited them right in. But I was right about one thing in those broadcasts: when you invite a wrecking crew into your life, they're going to wreck it. So much for listening to my own advice. ## Related ### Livestreams - [[livestreams/Grief, Forgiveness, and Rebuilding After Personal Crisis - Livestream|Grief, Forgiveness, and Rebuilding After Personal Crisis]] *(Feb 25, 2019)*: broadcast in San Antonio the same day this photo was taken. - [[livestreams/Self-Pity, Despair, and Returning to Human Connection - Livestream|Self-Pity, Despair, and Returning to Human Connection]] *(Feb 24, 2019)*: the San Antonio broadcast from the night before. - [[livestreams/Deception, Exploitative Contracts, and the Courage to Leave - Livestream|Deception, Exploitative Contracts, and the Courage to Leave]] *(Jan 21, 2019)*: what entanglement with a skilled deceiver costs, recorded a month earlier. - [[livestreams/Knowing When to Set Boundaries and When to Walk Away - Livestream|Knowing When to Set Boundaries and When to Walk Away]] *(Jan 12, 2019)* - [[livestreams/Recognizing Toxic Relationships and Protecting Your Energy - Livestream|Recognizing Toxic Relationships and Protecting Your Energy]] *(Sep 8, 2018)* - [[livestreams/Leaving Toxic Dynamics Without Losing Compassion - Livestream|Leaving Toxic Dynamics Without Losing Compassion]] *(Jan 18, 2016)* - [[livestreams/Refusing to Become a Toxic Dumping Ground, Part 1 - Livestream|Refusing to Become a Toxic Dumping Ground, Part 1]] *(Feb 1, 2016)* - [[livestreams/Ruthless Boundaries, Chosen Family, and Strategic Disengagement, Part 1 - Livestream|Ruthless Boundaries, Chosen Family, and Strategic Disengagement, Part 1]] *(Nov 24, 2015)* - [[livestreams/Daring to Call Yourself Virtuous and Leading With an Open Heart - Livestream|Daring to Call Yourself Virtuous and Leading With an Open Heart]] *(Oct 30, 2019)*: guarding the heart without burying it, eight months later. ### Writing and Reminders - [[books/Chimping Out|Chimping Out]]: behavioral pricing and the principle "make yourself too expensive to harm." - [[reminders/Boundaries/A Boundary May Be Understood and Still Crossed for Free by Bryant McGill|A Boundary May Be Understood and Still Crossed for Free]] - [[reminders/Boundaries/A Boundary Establishes What Disappears When Crossed by Bryant McGill|A Boundary Establishes What Disappears When Crossed]] ### Wiki - [[wiki/San Antonio, Texas|San Antonio, Texas]] · [[wiki/Alamo Quarry Market|Alamo Quarry Market]] · [[wiki/Self-Deception|Self-Deception]] · [[wiki/Boundary|Boundary]] ## Location <iframe width="100%" height="300" style="border:1px solid #ccc; border-radius:8px" loading="lazy" src="https://www.openstreetmap.org/export/embed.html?bbox=-98.4831%2C29.4989%2C-98.4711%2C29.5069&layer=mapnik&marker=29.5028944%2C-98.4771194"></iframe> [Open in OpenStreetMap](https://www.openstreetmap.org/?mlat=29.5028944&mlon=-98.4771194#map=16/29.5028944/-98.4771194) · [Open in Google Maps](https://www.google.com/maps?q=29.5028944,-98.4771194)