It took me decades to process the anger and fear from negative childhood experiences. One thing I have learned is that these experiences are just like poison. Once the experiences are put in you, they will remain in you, doing damage until they are processed and removed. The processing takes time and is different for each person. For me, the trauma resulted in self-destructive behaviors and a much delayed mature interface with life. Consciousness and mindfulness are good places to start. Avoid violent and dark entertainment, watch less TV, especially the "NEWS," and learn to meditate. Read spiritual, psychology and self-help books. Seek therapy with a kind and nurturing therapist — therapy can be a wonderful and fun path of self-discovery. A therapist is always a good option because we tend to not see things, or ourselves, clearly and honestly when we are in stressful and unhealthy mindsets or situations. Possibly get yourself in a support group. Learn to convert the pain into depths of understanding and compassion that you can share with others, which will give meaning to your seemingly senseless experiences. Stay committed to uncovering your beauty and getting to know yourself completely. This is your chance, and you deserve to experience all the good and amazing things life has to offer you. These are fundamental decisions you must make about your life. Only you can make these decisions for action. When you obtain inner-clarity within yourself you will then have clarity in your outer world, and you will realize you have options. Feeling like you have no options is one of the disillusionments we often have when we are being controlled by fear, money or circumstances of life. I want to remind you that you have endless opportunities! Once you obtain clarity and make your informed decisions, a way will be made for you in time. Stay strong and be good to yourself!